What Are My Chances Of Getting My Cyber-Cutie

January 1st, 2001

“What are your thoughts on Internet relationships?

What are my chances of ending up with my cyber-cutie?”


Liam’s Answer

First, let me be brutally honest with you: Every woman who has ever fallen in love over the Internet has ended up in tears.

It’s a direct function of finding out that the bodybuilder of your dreams is in reality a monstrously fat beast from hell.

Of course, it should be obvious. For starters, they spend all their time on the Internet. And I don’t know about you, but I haven’t seen too many joggers chatting on ICQ as they go.

Then there’s those “Be Right Back – having a shower” breaks that only last a minute or two. That’s not even time to get wet, let alone clean. But it is long enough to have a quick wank, if you’re wondering what he’s up to.

But the final clue is that your cyber lover looks almost exactly like Brad Pitt. It’s a stolen photo.

Happily, most desperate losers are more than prepared to travel half way round the world. So even if you don’t invite him, your chances of finding him hanging around outside your house in the not too distant future are pretty good, I reckon.

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What Are My Chances Of Getting My Cyber-Cutie