Too Scared For Sex

December 4th, 2006

“I have a serious problem. I have been married for a few years now but we still have not had sex as I am too scared. I always tense down below. How can I learn to relax or can I take something to calm me down? Please help!”

georgina papacleovoulou

Liam’s Advice

Georgina, I suggest you go to the doctor and ask for a prescription for Rohypnol. That night, at bedtime, put on some relaxing music and a flimsy nightgown. Light some candles and pour your husband some wine. Have some yourself, then pop a few roofies. This will make you pass out within a few seconds, leaving you relaxed, pliable and even perhaps comatose.

While your husband may not want to have sex with you in that condition, it will at least give him a half an hour or so to have one off the wrist. Or, given he’s been married for a few years with no shagging at all, perhaps four or five.

Chris’ Advice

It seems to me that you have some deep-seated fears of being intimate with your husband.

Tension prior to the sexual act is not uncommon. In fact, many marriages are not consummated on the wedding night because of first night nerves (although more are not consummated because the groom has drunk to much and has turned into a quivering, drunken, vomiting mass of jelly).

What you need to do is convince yourself that sex with your husband is a non-event, rather than a non-existent event.

Talk things through with him. Tell him about your fears and anxieties. Do some deep breathing exercises, and ask him to give you a shoulder rub to relax you. Explain to him how the thought of him putting his thingy you know where makes your knees clamp together. Then show him the car-jack you’ve bought, and explain how he can use this to force them apart whenever he wishes to experience the true intimacy of a husband and a wife.

After a few months of this, I guarantee you’ll get turned on whenever you see someone stranded forlornly at the roadside changing a flat.

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Too Scared For Sex