Squirrels In Afro

July 21st, 2003

“My afro is too large it is taking over my life!

I like to get it wet.

I have a serious problem with squirrels, they like to store my nuts, help!”

Robin Stephens

Liam’s Answer

Overly rampant hair can cause the owner considerable grief, no matter what the style, but the afro is particularly problematic. This is mainly because to look good, it needs to be as perfectly round as an over-inflated beach ball.

The slightest squirrel hole can completely ruin the whole effect.

Standard methods of avoiding squirrel infestation are problematic to say the least.

Shooting the squirrels is dangerous. Every time you try, some bastard will think you’re trying to top yourself and have you committed to a psychiatric institution. There, they will shave your head. While this will get rid of the squirrels, it’ll totally wreck your afro.

Placing a squirrel trap in your hair is an option, but you must be careful to make sure no girls are allowed to run their fingers through your rich curly locks. Chicks don’t dig losing an entire hand in someone’s hairdo.

I recommend you lay poisonous baits in your hair. When the squirrels eat them, they will simply crawl away to die.

Alternatively, swim every day, and drown the buggers.

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Squirrels In Afro