Say No In A Nice Way

February 23rd, 2007

“I’ve been asked go go out with a load of friends, but I really can’t be bothered. How do I say no in a nice way?”

Ryan D’Montigny

Liam’s Answer

Since man invented leaving of the cave for a ‘night out’, people have been trying to devise ways to avoid leaving their comfortable caverns to spend time with people who, on reflection, aren’t always all that much fun to be around.

Over time, the excuses have changed.

“I don’t like the taste of mammoth” has become “I’m allergic to Thai food. The coriander and coconut milk really plays havoc with my guts.”

“I’m bored of cave painting” has become “I hate watching nature documentaries in the cinema.”

“It’s taboo to watch women do their secret fertility dances” has become “My girlfriend will kill me if she finds out I blew $300 in a strip joint.”

Despite the updates, friends are still hopeless at getting the message, and will protest your protestations with crude remarks like “Go on. You’re only young once,” or “What are ya? Some kind of a homo?”

Which is why the age old method for declining a night out is still the most effective. Hit your friends with a club until they stop bothering you.

Chris’ Answer

There are six ways to say nicely say “no” to a night out with friends.

  1. “I have a prior engagement.”
  2. “I have to wash my hair.”
  3. “I am engaged to my hair dresser, and we’re having a hot night in.”
  4. “I am in quarantine and can’t leave the house for 24 hours next Friday night.”
  5. “I have no money left as I blew $300 in a strip club with you last week.”
  6. “Sorry, my phone’s dying, and I didn’t hear you. Send me a text with the…” then hang up.

All and any of these can be used together (although number 6 is best used last; it would be a bit dumb to hang up, then give your friends lots of excuses they can’t hear, after all).

Or, you could always say “Go out. While there’s TV in the world. Bugger off!”

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Say No In A Nice Way