Need Fast Cash

April 25th, 2005

“I need fast cash!”

Corrin

Liam’s Answer

Right now my bank balance is $8.90, and it’s about a month to pay day, so I know exactly what you mean.

My solution has been to ask people to buy me a beer, but to be honest, it doesn’t work.

So now, I’ve got a new recommendation: sell advertising rights to your navel. Offer your navel for sale on eBay as advertising space.

The auction will attract media attention. There seem to be dozens of journalists who simply lurk on eBay looking for weird auctions, so yours will be found very quickly. The fame from the media attention will make your navel more valuable, vastly increasing the amount people will bid.

Within 7 days, you’ll be at least $25,000 richer.

Chris’ Answer

Money is so annoying isn’t it. You never seem to have enough, and even when you do, one night in a pub and it’s all disappeared.

What there needs to be in this world is a more equitable distribution of wealth. I’m not suggesting that we need to adopt the entire teachings of Karl Marx by Thursday. What I am suggesting is that someone should work out ways for people to have a fun night in the pub without using all their money buying drinks. Perhaps they could develop some sort of super cheap vodka that sold for only a few cents but still tasted good when mixed with cranberry juice.

And that, Corrin is precisely what I suggest you do. Royalties of one or two cents per glass would still make your super cheap vodka affordable, but when multiplied by the entire planet’s Friday night drinking would make you outrageously rich by Saturday.

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Need Fast Cash