My Brother Got Evicted

September 14th, 2004

“Hi guys, My brother is being kicked out of his house due to rent arrears. I cant help him out. So PLEASE help, otherwise he will have to live with me and I will need money from you guys to see a shrink.

Please help

desperate sister em


emily budgeon

Liam’s Answer

Emily, I can really understand your problem. Having a dead-beat brother turning up on your door-step lookng for free accommodation is a real pain. My sister complains about me all the time.

There’s a little known concept called “Letting the Lord Provide” that may help you in this time of financial need. The theory is that if you give away all your worldly possessions, God will look after your needs.

Now, admittedly, this doesn’t seem to work very well for the homeless guy who lives under the dis-used power station at the end of my street, but he has got his 240,000 volt power sockets, which is more than most people can say.

For you, the theory goes like this. give away all your worldly possessions, and your borther won’t bother visiting you. You won’t need money for a shrink at all.

Now, you could give all your worldly possessions to your brother. At first, that looks like a sensible plan, because then he’d be able to pay his rent. But you’d be homeless and tempted to stay at his place. Soon, you’d need professional counselling, and we’d be back at square one.

So don’t do that.

Instead, give all your worldly possessions to Chris and me. Just make a stupidly enornmous donation via PayPal.

Most likely, you’ll be admitted to a mental institution as insane for giving away everything you own. But then you’ll have a rood over your head, and be given three square meals a day. And all the free psycho-analysis you need.

Doesn’t the Lord work in mysterious ways!

Chris’ Answer

I’d like to make a donation to your fund, Emily, but I recently followed Liam’s advice, and am a little short of money at the moment.

However, soon, I’ll be moving into a place with 240,000 volt power sockets, and so hope to have some money together then.

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My Brother Got Evicted