Multiplying Gerbils

September 15th, 2003

“My gerbils have multiplied most alarmingly over a few short weeks. Apart from setting them free or starting a circus, what can I do? (They aren’t very good at housework, and I don’t like clowns).”

Joy

Liam’s Answer

Joy, you should turn your gerbils into a lucrative hobby.

Gerbils are small rodents that can easily hide in a mans trousers. They love warm, dark places, and are soft and furry.

They therefore make the perfect surprise gift for a boy to place in his underpants before a romantic night out. Women will be curiously drawn to his strangely undulating trouser package, and when they find out he’s got a live animal down there will tear his pants off him. This will be in order to save the animal, but a girl ripping your pants off for any reason is a win in my book.

So, Joy, I advise you to sell your gerbils to blokes out for a night on the town. Set up next to the hot dog vendor outside your local pub. If you sell each gerbil for $10, you’ll only need to sell nine to buy a hot dog.

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Multiplying Gerbils