Moaner or Shouter?

December 1st, 2003

“I’m writing on behalf of my friend Brian. He is too shy to write himself. And besides, he doesn’t have a computer.

Brian has two women friends, Beverley and Shandelle. When approaching orgasm, Beverly goes all rigid and moans a lot. Shandelle, on the other hand, starts to thrash around and shout a lot… usually pretty dirty stuff.

Brian is looking to commit, but is not sure whether he should commit to a moaner… who won’t disturb the neighbours… or to Shandelle, who is utterly insatiable.

What would you guys do?”

Bob Hudson

Liam’s Answer

Go for the shouter.

In my experience, moaners go bad after about 6 months. Sure, they start off with “Oh, ohhhh, ooooohhh! That feels soo goooood!”

But soon, the moans change. “You never take out the rubbish. Why can’t you put the seat down once in a while. You never do the dishes”.

On the other hand, shouters tend to say exactly the same stuff, only a lot louder.

Chris’ Answer

Picture this. You’re in the throes of passion. You’re with the shouter. She’s screaming filth at the top of her lungs, urging you on.

Then, all of a sudden, your door shatters as your 250 pound neighbour breaks into your apartment and starts beating you about the head with a broom, screaming “Shut the hell up, for the love of God!”

That can put a real downer on your love making.

Pick the moaner. You’ll be happy, and so will the neigbours.

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Moaner or Shouter?