I Want To Be A Gigolo

November 1st, 2003

“I want to be a gigolo. Can you help me?


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Liam’s Answer

Gigolo is a very noble profession, and an incredibly cool job. You get paid to have sex with women all day. Could there be anything better?


Here are some things to remember about your clients:

  1. Not all women are beautiful.
  2. They’re not all women.

If you’re still keen after thinking through the implications of that, then my suggestion is to visit your local brothel (during the day, not at 4:00 am when you’re toey) and ask them if they’d like to hire you. the madam will probably ask you to audtion. You’ll look at her and think “Yech! She’s 60, smokes 70 cigarettes a day, and bosoms to her knees.”

If you can pass that test, then, with your powers of imagination, you really should try being a novelist.

Chris’ Answer

Try to break in to the industry by making your girlfriend pay you for sex.

She may demand payment from you. Make sure you don’t pay her more than she pays you, or you’ll end up broke in about a month. Less if your girlfriend is gorgeous.

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I Want To Be A Gigolo