Hopeless Romantic

January 1st, 1998

“I’m a 24 year old graphic designer and sculptor in Minnesota. Earlier in my life I was a hopeless romantic and after getting my heart stomped on several times I refused to get to close in my relationships. I would date several women at the same time to keep from getting involved. I’ve since cleaned up my act but find I’m still only attracted to eccentric women: actors, singers, performers, even some models who are always psycho.

Do you think its because I’m fairly odd myself? or is it that I still have a fear of getting hurt and why am I asking an eccentric performer to begin with?

p.s. nothing says sexy like a yello volvo well maybe one of those sleek checker cabs.

Ohhh baby!

sincerely

Tracy”

Jo’s Advice

I’m not quite sure what your problem is. You go out with multiple partners simultaneously, like cars, and spend your life avoiding emotional commitment. If you were a man, I’d call you normal.

I’m not surprised you find all the models you date are psycho. Who wouldn’t be, after spending your whole life self-obsessed about your weight, constantly preening, and trying to be the perfection of womanhood. That’s pressure you know. It’s enough to send anyone a little loopy. What I’m surprised about is that these models have enough firing neurons to be mentally ill.

You’re not odd, Tracy. Except in the kinds of cars you like. But that’s ok. Emotional commitment can be scary. (Not as scary as balloons are when they make that horrible squeaky sound or burst unexpectedly, but that’s because I’m balloonophobic; compared to that, you’re fine.)

What you need to do is learn to accept that you’re as shallow as the average puddle on a hot summer day, and live with it. We can’t all be as perfect as Oprah Winfrey, you know.

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Hopeless Romantic