Gorgeous Grapes

September 15th, 2003

“I find myself thinking impure thoughts about grapes.”

Tamathir Canathel

Liam’s Answer

People, when you send in these sorts of problems, could you please provide detail. And lots of it.

Grapes are about the most erotic fruit there is. You can use them to make wine, which you can use to get girls drunk with. And we all know where that leads.

You can’t get chicks drunk on bananas, you know.

Chris’ Answer

People think erotic thoughts about all manner of things, and most of it is normal and healthy. The trick is not to go overboard. It’s OK, for example, to include grapes in your love making. Passing a grape from your mouth to your lovers can be very sensual and erotic.

Squeezing a grape and letting the juice fall onto your lovers belly before licking it off can be a fun and nutritious form of foreplay.

The thing is not to let your impure thoughts take you overboard.

I went out with a girl who was so obsessed with fruit it got ridiculous.

Here thing was strawberries.

Now at first, you might think it’s kind of sex and romantic. But she didn’t like the pips. She made me remove them all before I was allowed to shag her. And if I missed even one, that was it for the week.

My advice is stick to seedless grapes, so your sex life doesn’t suffer too much.

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Gorgeous Grapes