Follower Candles

March 1st, 2004

“I am looking for ‘follower candles’ that have a little lamp shade on them and as they burn down the shade follows them down. I only want the candles, I have the rest”

Royce E

Chris’ Answer

Some people really want to fill their lives with crap, don’t they. And you, Royce, seem to be one of them. I had to do research to answer this question, and the only thing more insane than a lampshade that fits on the top of a candle is your question asking where to get one.

You realise, don’t you, that using these things will immediately make you unattractive to members of the opposite sex. Or the same sex, for that matter.

You will lose all credibility, all hope, and $10 for a pack of 8″ candles at (no longer exists)

Liam’s Answer

The problem with silly trends is that some one always ends up getting caught up in them.

I blame the cool people. The cool guys are the first ones to realise that not only do baseball caps fit on frontwards and backwards, but also sideways. They try it out for a day, their mates all have a bit of a laugh, and then they get their insane “hat on sideways” look in the papers, where it is seen by gullible people all around the globe.

Within weeks, all the sheep like losers on the planet have started wearing their caps sideways. Soon, the Major League Baseball clubs are realising new merchandise designed specifically to be worn sideways.

And now, I find out that it’s not only sad loser people who end up being the followers of any trend. Candles have taken on this unfortunate trait and begun wearing lampshades.

That’s sad, Royce. And so are you.

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Follower Candles