Followed By Boys

January 1st, 2002

“Dear advice answerers-

I often find myself being followed by boys at night when we are both in cars. They will follow for a while and then give up. What do they want me to do, and what should I do to let them know I want to conjoin our tongues?

Thank you”


Liam’s Answer

I have to say, at first, I didn’t think yours was a very clever way to meet people. To be frank, I thought your chances of pulling up at lights next to the person of your dreams are only marginally better than the odds of winning first prize in Tattslotto. Twice. In a row.

But, I did an experiment. Last Saturday, I spent the evening driving up and down Lygon Street. Mainly i was trying to find a car park, but the effect was the same.

And I found true love. Or at least something close to it.

Here was my trick.

When I saw a car full of likely candidates, I held up a sign. It said “I want to shag you”.

There was an embarrassing misunderstanding with a car full of guys on there way to a fancy dress party, but the doctor says the stitches can come out next week, so no real harm done.

However, as I was lying in the gutter, a girl kissed me on the lips. Sure, it was mouth to mouth resuscitation, but I made the most of it.

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Followed By Boys