Do Birds Shit On The Deck?

June 14th, 2003

“We have a out side deck that is covered. How do we stop birds from pooing all over the out door furniture.”

Mark Rowed

Liam’s Answer

In my experience, you can’t really stop birds from crapping wherever they wish. Short of giving them toilet paper and asking them to clean up after themselves, there’s not all that much you can do.

My advice is to turn the poo into a virtue. Just leave the crap on, and tell your friends that you’ve painted your entire outdoor setting with a bird poo motif. They’ll be amazed with your handiwork. they may even commission you to do the same thing to theirs.

Suddenly, your laziness will be a money making venture. There’s nothing better than that.

Chris’ Answer

I cover my outdoor furniture with aluminium. Then, I run an electric current through the them. when birds land on it to take a crap, they get fried.

Not only does my furniture stay poo free, but I also have a steady supply of barbequed meat.

Tags > , , , , ,

Do Birds Shit On The Deck?