Boss Needs A Bonk

April 1st, 2004

“Hey guys,

This may seem really simple, but: My boss, who is usually top bloke, is 50ish and gets really ‘anal’ sometimes which I put down to a distinct lack of ‘female companionship’.

Is it appropriate for me to send a couple of hookers to his house with a note one Saturday night?

Please help me, as he seriously needs to get some!”

Pete

Liam’s Answer

There’s nothing worse than a boss who needs a good shag. Except if the boss has decided that you’re the person who needs to shag him.

Before that happens, you definitely need to get your boss laid. This is just the sort of situation that hookers are made for.

Don’t pay for it out of your own pocket though. Do a whip around at the office with a tin and a “get well” card. Get all your colleagues to write a little note wishing your boss a speedy recovery, and hoping he’s back on his feet soon. Then, use the cash you raise to pay for the hooker.

Of course, if you’re boss is a constant bastard, there’ll be hardly any cash in the tin, and your boss will be forced to sleep with some skanky old trollop that normally sleeps under a bridge.

But as he’s usually a top bloke, it’s more likely the hooker you find will look more like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman than Charlize Theron in Monster.

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Boss Needs A Bonk