I Am An Arsehole American

January 1st, 1997

I am a complete and utter idiot, and I like shooting people with my gun.

I dye my hair all the time, and I smell of bologne, fatty snacks and tater tots.

Please kill me,

love,

Iaman Arseholeamerican

Jo’s Advice

So? What’s the problem? Go back to your Arseholeamerica and quit bothering us. We’re not interested. Unless you do something really shocking that makes the world news here at home, like blow away a whole classroom, to which we can shake our heads and tsk, tsk, for here in the lucky country we have it so much better, because nothing appalling ever happens here (conveniently forgetting Port Arthur, black deaths in custody, mandatory sentencing, etc…). Then we stroke our superiority and get on with our lives without allowing human tragedy on a global scale affect us at all.

So either quit whinging and put out, or shut up.

All talk and no action makes for a very slow news night.

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I Am An Arsehole American