Worst Things To Happen On Your Wedding Day

March 1st, 2005

Prince Charles and Camilla's wedding was almost runied by natives firing arrows at the happy couple. Luckily they all landed in Camilla's hat.

Prince Charles is getting married again. Does anyone care? Not really.

The royal wedding of the century will happen in April, and will probably run like a dream. Many people’s weddings run more like a nightmare. This month, the Gorskys look at the worst possible scenarios for your wedding day.

  • You realise your partner is Camilla Parker-Bowles.
  • You realise your partner is Prince Charles.
  • You screw up your vows and end up marrying the celebrant.
  • You screw up your vows and end up marrying the bride’s father.
  • You get your vows right, and find you’re married to Camilla Parker-Bowles.
  • As the bride walks down the aisle, you realise you’re in the wrong church.
  • When the preacher asks if there is any reason this couple should not wed, your partner raises their hand.
  • The wedding ceremony has to be on time, because your partner is due back in his cell at 5 o’clock.
  • As the bride walks down the aisle, you realise you don’t have the ring.
  • As the bride walks down the aisle, you realise you don’t have the ring, and you probably left it in the stripper’s bra.
  • As the bride walks down the aisle, you realise she WAS the stripper.
  • You notice your partner’s side of the church seems to be filled with Klans-men and your name is Leroy.
  • Your partner laughs hysterically when they’re required to say “I do”.
  • Everyone waves goodbye to the bridal limousine, until you realise it’s being stolen.
  • Your partner is an hour late for the wedding because she got detention.
  • During the service you start to find the bride’s father more attractive than she is.
  • You vow to stay with your partner in sickness or in health. Moments after the wedding they admit they only married you for your kidneys.
  • Your partner’s glass eye falls out into the wedding cake.
  • The congratulatory kiss from your partner’s father includes tongue.
  • During the bridal waltz, you realise your partner has two left feet. Literally.
  • At the conclusion of the reception, the best-man takes the bride’s entire dress off with his teeth.
  • As you throw the bridal bouquet, it strikes your sister in the temple, killing her instantly.
  • During the reception, you suddenly discover why your bride was so adamant about not getting married during a full moon.
  • You realise it wasn’t such a great idea to say your wedding vows in Klingon, and discover you have legally wed the priest and declared war on Alpha Centauri.
  • You get so drunk at the reception, you’re unable to take your own clothes off at the bridal suite.
  • Moments before the wedding, you get a call from Prince Charles, asking if you’d be interested in a threesome with Camilla Parker-Bowles tonight.

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Worst Things To Happen On Your Wedding Day