New Words For The English Dictionary

July 1st, 2008

William Shakespeare

Shakespeare is a man who not only made up a lot of words, but also had a soulpatch 400 years before the word was included in the dictionary.

Every year, many new words are added to the dictionary as the English language steadily evolves. Earlier this year, the Merriam-Webster dictionary added words such as unibrow, spyware and soulpatch. Yeah, that’s right: ‘soulpatch’.

Ever since I was a child, I have dreamt of getting my own made-up word into the dictionary but, no matter how hard I tried, words such as ‘wankleclown’ (a silly person), ‘nostrilmonkey’ (a big booger) or ‘gordonpinkrod'(male genitalia) have never made it into the lexicon.

Sometimes words just accidentally begin to exist: ‘google’ is now a generic verb for searching the internet, ‘bandaid’ is a generic word for a plastic strip, and we wouldn’t ‘hoover’ the carpet if it weren’t for J. Edgar.

So here’s the GORSKYS.COMedy new words for a modern world which we’re hoping Merriams or Oxford discover and consider for their next edition.

  • Myspacery (n) – A discovery that all the friends you thought you had are imaginary.
  • Britney (n) – A situation that is spiralling out of control. I.e. Lately our relationship has gone from bad to Britney.
  • Wikism (n) – A piece of information that claims to be true, but is wildly inaccurate. I.e. It is a wikism that Steven Seagal is a brilliant actor.
  • Brangelinaesque (adj) – A disgustingly-perfect match of two sought-after items. I.e. This is a brangelinaesque peanut butter and jam sandwich.
  • Olsens (n) – Another name for a pair of drumsticks.
  • Youtubular (adj) – A receptacle, primarily full of rubbish, for discarding mediocre items for other people to find.
  • Georgebushanoia (n) – A feeling that you’ve been metaphorically rectally raped over and over for seven years.
  • Lucasize (v) –A great and wonderful idea that has been taken a step too far.  I.e. You have completely lucasized your essay by tacking on that extra paragraph.
  • Jackomess (v) – The situation after a plastic surgery prodcedure that has made the recipient look more like an alien.
  • Jackonial (v)A defiant claim by a person that they never had any plastic surgery when they clearly have because they look more like an alien.
  • Trumpstyle (n) – Any hairstyle that is so bad it beats every other bad hairstyle you’ve ever seen.
  • Idol (n) – Whilst already a word in the English language, described as “a person or thing that is greatly admired, loved, or revered”, a second meaning should be added: “mundane, pointless, b-grade celebrity-hungry hack”

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New Words For The English Dictionary