How To Build Confidence

August 15th, 2008
a brave man in a mankini walking down a crowded street

This is the sort of confidence financial markets and mankini sellers especially are hoping for from consumers.

Over the last few months, the media has been on and on about consumer confidence being low. Given we’re all consumers, I guess that means we’re all low in confidence.

Confidence is a very important part of your character. If people think you lack confidence, they will probably take advantage of you or steal your handbag or something.

So, we’d like to help everyone get their confidence back with some tips for building confidence.

  • Start every morning with a mantra, such as “I am the greatest”, “I rock my world” or “I will probably get through today without breaking down and sobbing”.
  • Make a list of your strong points. Then throw it away, because it will just bring you down when you realise you don’t have that many strong points.
  • Make a list of someone else’s strong points, like a champion sportsman or an award-winning academic. Then put your name on the top and stick it to your fridge.
  • Pretend you are a superhero. Make yourself a superhero suit and wear it everywhere. (Note: masks may have to be removed when entering a bank).
  • Pick a fight with someone weaker than you. Then fight them. And win. (Children and old people are a great place to start).
  • Pick a fight with someone really, really tough. You may be beaten to a pulp, but everyone will think it was very brave of you to try.
  • Only watch inspirational movies like ‘Jerry Maguire’, ‘Chariots of Fire’ or ‘Requiem for a Dream’.
  • If people intimidate you, look carefully for a flaw in their physical appearance and point it out to them. If they are really tough, do it anonymously, by email.
  • Take a picture of your most-attractive friend and put it on a dating website with your details and wait for the compliments to roll in.
  • Every time you see Donald Trump on TV, shout “You’re fired” at him.
  • Listen to people like Jessica Simpson, Kyle Sandilands or George Bush – and feel good when you realise there are much more stupid people than yourself in the world.

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How To Build Confidence