The Truth About Cyber-Sex

August 1st, 2000

We see them on TV every slow-news day. A couple getting married after meeting and falling in love on the Internet.

Is this ‘Anne’, your cyber-lover?

Or is this ‘Anne’, your cyber-lover?

It seems so common, but people are often scared to start a cyber-sex relationship. This month, GORSKYS.COMedy looks at the benefits, pit-falls and ettiquette of cyber-sex.

  • You need to be careful that your dream woman is not in fact a 60 year-old man with a dodgy sense of humour.
  • You can send your cyber-lover a 🙂 smiley face symbol, and eat the box of chocolates yourself.
  • It’s perfect if you want to have cybersex with a 60-year old man with a dodgy sense of humour.
  • Many chat rooms consider it poor form to ‘walk in’ and shout “Who wants to have cyber-sex with me?” Rooms with names like “Christian Fellowship”, “No Cybersex Here” and “I Love My Barbie” should be avoided.
  • That said, it’s great fun to go into the “Christian Fellowship” chat room and ask “Who wants to have cyber-sex with me?” just to make them angry. Beg for their forgiveness as a true test of their committment to Jesus. Then slip in a line about slipping in the tongue.
  • Your wedding will be on TV on a slow-news day (and face it, that’s most Saturdays).
  • You are guaranteed your cyber-partner is lying, so there’s no harm in you doing it too.
  • Cyber-sex to the point of orgasm is banned in most public libraries.
  • Make sure your cyber-partner is not one of your parents before aranging to elope with them.
  • Make sure that your cyber-partner is in fact human and not some Artificial Intelligence program. You might love your new iMac, but offering to marry one is just embarrassing.
  • If you do marry your iMac, make sure you get on TV. Hopefully, Steve Jobs will take pity on you and buy you a floppy drive. (Although a hard drive would be better).
  • You can dump your cyber-lover just by changing your nickname.

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The Truth About Cyber-Sex