What Happens During The CSI Ad-Breaks?

April 3rd, 2004

During the breaks in CSI Miami, David Caruso practises his range of ridiculously dramatic poses - with and without sunglasses.

CSI is perhaps the most popular cop show in the world. One hour long, and a gruesome crime solved every week.

TV critics applaud the show and say that CSI is true to life, and an accurate depiction of the lives of cops in the Crime Scene Investigation unit of Las Vegas.

Which, if you think about it, means it’s basically a documentary.

So, during the ad breaks, what do the characters do? Does the director yell “cut” and these diligent cops just drink coffee until the next cry of “action”? Or do they use their time productively.

This month, we have a guess at what the characters on cop shows do during the commercial breaks.

  • Take a crap. It’s not only needed after the four-dozen donuts and thirteen coffees since the first gruesome murder of the day, but it’s one of the few places the cameras won’t follow.
  • Go to Miami to work on their tan (and help out in the occasional guest appearance).
  • Plant evidence at the scene of the crime to make it easier to pin it on the Muslim 7/11 staffer they want to turn into a terrorist. ‘7/11’ is just too close to ‘9/11’ not to make a police man suspicious.
  • Play the slot machines in their Las Vegas-style bathrooms.
  • Kill a newly-recruited police officer to have something to show for next week.
  • Nip out and commit another crime full of forensic evidence in the hope of elevating the Las Vegas CSI team to the busiest in the USA.
  • Play poker in order to build up huge debts to the Mafia to support interesting sub-plots in the next series.
  • Freeze, motionless, and hope the criminal they’re chasing does the same.
  • Sit down and write up as many witty but cool things they can say when they next find a dwarf deep-fried in batter.
  • Go to New York to work on their shopping (and help out in the occasional guest appearance).
  • Work out vigorously so that all the donuts they eat on set to look like real cops don’t give them bodies like real cops.

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What Happens During The CSI Ad-Breaks?