Posts Tagged ‘help’

Old Women Love Me

January 1st, 1998
 Old Women Love MeRecently I have become a media sensation as I have appeared on TV. Sure it was only a commercial, but I feel I am doing my bit to prevent osteoporosis. As a result every woman over the age of forty five has been swooning at my feet thanking me for helping them realise it is bad if they fall over as they may break a hip. More...

Unwanted Accumulations

January 1st, 1998
 Unwanted Accumulations

Dear Jo, I was recently at a dinner party with my boss and work colleagues and my parents when I poisoned them all with a bottle of cyanide poured into the soup. It seemed like a bit of a laugh at the time, but now I'm left with a problem. How do I dispose of 27 bodies? Please ...

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I Want To Be Vegan

January 1st, 1998
 I Want To Be VeganI’m a vegetarian but I want to become a vegan but I can’t resist the temptation of mozzarella. And, yeah, I have some sleeping disorders and tend to observe a blank wall if I’m alone. More...

Miserable Mark

January 1st, 1997
 Miserable MarkMy wife and kids left me, my job is on the line, my life is in the toilet, but, I feel just fine. More...

Pants Dance

January 1st, 1997
 Pants DanceA couple of weeks ago I was out with the boys having a couple of “quieties” when I inexplicably found myself dancing in a cage wth no pants on and a belt around my neck. More...

Rich Fantasy Life

January 1st, 1997
 Rich Fantasy LifeThis girl comes on to me regularly at work but I can’t bring myself to respond, is there something wrong with me? More...

Wants A Cute Nickname

January 1st, 1997
 Wants A Cute NicknameMy girlfriend wants me to call her cute nick names but I don’t know what to use. More...