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Ask the Gorskys

The Advice Column You Don't Want to Follow

We've answered a lot of readers questions over the years. Read them all or ask your own question.


Stability or Passion?

April 25th, 2005
What’s more important in a relationship, passion or stability? See here is the problem. More...

Fart In Church

April 25th, 2005
I always fart in church when I’m kneeling. I can’t help it. More...
I seem to have an abnormal attraction to females with facial hair (aka moustaches). More...

Condescending Boss

April 25th, 2005
I work for the most condescending person on the entire planet. The only reason they hired me is because they wanted an intern to do the job that they should pay a real professional about 50k to do. I hate working here, but have to stay to complete my inte More...
Slept with Dad’s client’s son. Dad thinks I’m a slut. Help. More...

Who Goes First?

January 1st, 2005
What is the correct etiquette for order of play in a threesome situation? More...

Girlfriend Is Taller Than Me

October 21st, 2004
My girlfriend is taller than me, and I haven’t been growing a lot and I’m afraid that she’s going to be a lot taller at the end of the summer. What do I do to get taller? More...

Putting Back The Bounce

October 21st, 2004
I play tennis a lot and use the balls over and over until they have no bounce left in them. Is there a way to cook the old tennis balls to put the bounce back into them? More...

Can’t Stop Farting

October 18th, 2004
I can’t stop farting and it’s getting really embarassing. Is there anything I can do to stop? More...

My Brother Got Evicted

September 14th, 2004
My brother is being kicked out of his house due to rent arrears. I cant help him out. So PLEASE help, otherwise he will have to live with me and I will need money from you guys to see a shrink. Please help More...