Why Does Age Matter?

May 5th, 2002

“Why does age matter?”

Nichole Kemsley

Liam’s Answer

There’s a lot of Catholic priests who sent us similar questions Nichole, so it’s obviously an important issue at the moment.

Age indicates maturity, and decision making ability. And it’s a clue to how out-of-shape your body is. !8 year old kid: fit, lithe and full of life (but a bit pimply). 81 year-old: no pimples, but lots of sagging.

I’ve worked out why it’s so gross to think about your parents shagging. It’s like, you imagine them doing all the things you really enjoy, but wobbling a whole lot more.

But above all, age matters in a relationship because it let’s you talk about stuff you’ve got in common.

My advice is to stick to someone within plus of minus 5 years of your own age. Otherwise, this could be you:

    18 year old: Hey lover, what do you think of Nirvana?

    81 year old: Don’t talks to me about the after-life kiddo. Not with me with one foot on the grave.

    18 year old: No, I was thinking, you know, Kurt Cobain.

    81 year old: Kurt. That’s a German name, isn’t it. I remember, in the war…

    18 year old: Do you wanna play Quake?

    81 year old: Shakes? Of course I’ve got the shakes. I’ve got advanced Parkinson’s Disease. You should be grateful, young man. It’s what stops me lying still when we’re making whoopee.

And you wouldn’t want that to happen to you, now, would you.

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Why Does Age Matter?  

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