Liam,
As a regular reader of your excellent site, can I please get your thoughts on what your current favourite (preferably humorous) conspiracy theory is, about anything and why, that you’ve come across, or ever discussed in your amusing writings.
We’re currently looking at a few of them at high school and have to survey any people we know, on their favorite one. Most of the replies I’ve got are a bit looney and too serious. If I can include some humorous, more witty ones with people who have a sense of humor about the topic, it would be a great help.
If you can recommend anyone else with a good sense of humor I can write to, please do, if possible.
Thanks so much.
Sincerely,
Andrew Neville
Liam’s Answer
Hi Andrew
I don’t believe that you want my conspiracy theories for a school project. I believe that you are in fact a government agent looking over my shoulder at every move. You email is a thinly veiled attempt to determine whether I am onto you.
You say you are a ‘regular reader’. This proves that you have me under surveillance.
You say you want a humorous, witty theory. This was exactly the approach that Osama Bin Laden used when recruiting the evil masterminds of 9-11. I am frightened that this terrorist technique has been adopted by the US government.
You are ’surveying’ me for ’school’. It is common knowledge that ’school’ is the code word for “CIA” in American intelligence circles. Also, I happen to know that “survey you” means “planning your death by assassination”. You are obviously trying to kill me.
So, does this prove that I am paranoid, or are you bastards really watching me?
