I Want To Be A Comedian

July 18th, 2002

“Since I can remember, I’ve made people laugh. From elementary school through high school and now as a 20 year old college sophomore, it still happens. I try to “act my age” but I can’t help it, I LOVE COMEDY!

I’m still undecided on my major because I don’t want to do anything else but act out and make people laugh. Is there a major you would recommend for me while I’m still in college? How do I go about pursuing a comedic career???? I need HELP!!!!”

Richard Salcido

Chris’ Answer

The worst thing you can do for your comedy career is ask other comedians for advice. We just see you as competition, and give you dodgy advice that guarantees you will fail.

Liam’s Answer

The best way to become a comedian is to get into hard drugs. Any drug that will have you thrown into jail for 10 years just for possession is fine.

Once in prison, endear yourself to other criminals by telling the wardens all the details of the lunch-room boasting.

If you survive the constant beatings, you’re tough enough to survive a night at any comedy venue in the world.

Except maybe the Bull Pit at the Edinburgh Festival, where you really need to be agile to avoid the flying glasses.

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I Want To Be A Comedian