Running Out Of Conversation

February 23rd, 2007

“OK… My boyfriend is a kid-like person but he is very strong minded and he loves really deep conversations and many days I just dont know what to talk to him about.

I have gone from politics to video games… I’m running out of things to say.”

Brittany Short

Liam’s Answer

Running out of things to talk about is a sure sign that your relationship is maturing and moving on to a new level. It means you’re both becoming members of a ‘long term relationship’. Long term relationships can be recognised by three key factors:

  1. You’ve run out of things to talk about because you’ve said it all before.
  2. You stop calling each other to say flirty things like “I think you’re sexy,” and instead call to say “Can you remember to bring home milk?”
  3. No one tries to hold in their farts any more.

There’s only really one thing to do in this situation: dump him. Either your relationship moves on, or you do.

I think in your case, the most sensible way to break it off is to sit down for a “big conversation”. Tell him you have run out of things to talk about. Tell him that politics bores you, that “Halo” bores you senseless, and that working out a way to end the war in Iraq by getting the insurgents and the US forces to have a massive “World Of Warcraft” battle in which the last team standing wins is both impractical and unlikely to work. The diplomacy surrounding which side will be the Orcs will take years if not decades to work out, and in that time, Iraq will have entirely run out of electricity and computers.

While he’s wondering what you’re on about, hit him with the magic four sentences for ending a relationship:

  1. You’re a really nice guy.
  2. I like you a lot.
  3. I don’t want to go out with you any more.
  4. Can we still be friends.

Once he’s heard this, he will know you never want to see or hear from him again. And you won’t. Until in 12 months time he single-handedly beats the Iragi Insurgent Orcs in a masssive World Of Warcraft battle, and brings about world peace.

Chris’ Answer

What you need is a conversation topic engine. In the old days, these used to be known as “newspapers”. It was quite quaint how they worked. You would go into a shop, hand over the money, and be handed a ream of paper onto which someone had printed words and pictures about things that had happened in the world. Then, you would read the “news stories”, and that night, you could talk about what you had read.

Of course, such a useful and desirable social networking tool could never last. These days, newspapers are being replaced by “blogs” in which people quote other people’s blogs and add them to their own blogs in a hugely self-referential cycle that means that wihtin about 20 mintues of sitting down in front of Blogger.com you’ve read 43 references to the same blog article that was complaining about the demise of newspapers in the 21st century.

So that’s your topic for this week’s conversations with your man: the impact of blogging on newspapers in the 21st cenutury.

Next week, come back to GORSKYS.COMedy to find out other things you can talk about with him.

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Running Out Of Conversation