Offensive but Adorable

September 1st, 2008

“well,i like a boy but he offends me all the time .once upon a time he liked me now no.what can i do for this?”

kantarena gjelaj

Gavins Answer

You can stop liking him.

Enjoy the rest of your life.

Gavin Baskerville

Dans Answer

You can’t make someone like you, but you can certainly kill everyone they love with a machete.

Also, I find a cup of tea with honey and lemon can be very soothing and help take your mind off things.

Dan Walmsley

James’ Answer

Forget him Kantarena! Have you read what you wrote us? You have the first verse of a KILLER BLUES SONG! Fuck him. You’re going to the next Robert Johnson.

James Hazelden

Vayas Answer

Either… send him a text that slyly contains the words ‘love’ and ‘kisses’ and the letters of your name in the body, wait 5 weeks for a reply, spend the next 14 hours trying to crack the code of the 4-syllable response so that ‘good how ru’ somehow ends up meaning ‘you are awesome and I have been thinking about you and planning our wedding’, get a mutual friend to find out when he will next be at that bar you saw him at that time, come up with a totally plausible reason to be casually strolling into it, spend the last of your pay packet on new hair, a new outfit, a tan, a wax and a pedicure so that when he sees you he is reminded that you are hot and he has loved you all along.

OR, play Roxette’s ‘It Must Have Been Love But It’s Over Now’ really loud and then get out and find some of those fish in that sea people are always talking about.

(PSST! You’re supposed to do second one.)

Vaya Pashos

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Offensive but Adorable

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