He Has NEVER Tried To Hit On Me

January 1st, 1997

“I have known a guy for like 6 years and me and him are just friends and he calls me sis and were like bro and sis and he has NEVER tried to hit on me before but im in love with him and i wrote him a letter like 3 weeks or so ago and it told him i was in love with him, but he never said anything about it???

I’m 14 and he’s 30 what do i do? please help i know the big age differnce so big damn deal i know i love him…….. please helppp!!!!!!!!!!!”

Danielle Jacobs

Jo’s Advice

There’s a reason this “guy” (darling, he’s a man but I’ll play your little charade for a moment) has not hit on you and hasn’t responded to your letter. You’re 14, he’s 30. Big damn deal you say? IT’S ILLEGAL!!!!!

Your friend took one look at your letter and moved states, he’s so scared of being accused of “compromising your virtue” (or for those less delicate, doing the deed with an under-age virgin). He’s not thinking of deflowering you, lovey, he’s thinking of 20 years prison with some very unpleasant deflowering of his own (this time involving large men with 17 years for armed robbery and a penchant for paddling).

Do the decent thing, leave the poor man alone. Yes, by all means cover your bedroom walls with posters of grown men, but have a closer look at the boys next door, in your class, or on the bus. They really are quite cute, particularly in those school uniforms with those innocent cow eyes.

They surely could do with some violation…

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He Has NEVER Tried To Hit On Me  

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