Make It Bigger

January 1st, 2001

“Where can i get a dick extension?”

Jonathan Arghes

Chris’ Answer

Penile extension is done in a number of ways. You can have it injected with fat, small balloons that can be manually inflated (which I imagine is a lot of fun) or by stretching.

Any disreputable doctor should be able to help you.

Liam’s Answer

Many men are worried about their penis size, and with good reason. I have it on the reliable authority of my last three girlfriends that size does in fact matter.

Doctors charge a lot of money for these sort of operations, and they usually try to talk you out of it. They’ll tell you it’s all in your mind, or that it’s not the size, but the way you use it.

But at the end of the day, if you’re standing in a urinal and other blokes aren’t staring with envy, you feel a little less of a real man.

I’m a big advocate of the Do It Yourself approach. If you do it properly you can add extraordinary length to your penis.

Here’s what to do.

  1. Tie a 1 metre length of fishing line to the end of your bed.
  2. Tie the other end of the line to a large, barbed fishing hook.
  3. Thread the hook through the shaft of your penis, just below the head.

As you run screaming for the phone to call an ambulance, you will stretch your penis quite remarkably.

If your phone is down a four metre hall, you can expect to end up with a four metre long penis. And that’s something every man will be envious of.

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