Get Rid Of Jehovah’s Witnesses

August 22nd, 2002

“How do i get Jehovah’s Witnesses outta my door?

I mean, no matter what i do, they keep on coming… Help me, if i hear another speech of why Jehovah is better than my cat I’m going to take a crucifix and insert it to the witness’ ass!!”


Liam’s Answer

When Jehovah’s Witnesses come around, try reverse psychology. Invite them in and try to convert them to your religion. The following speech will make them run screaming from the house, never to return.

“I love God. He is the fountain of all that is good and right with the world. Whenever I see people suffering, I say to myself ‘If you opened our heart to Jesus, your troubles would vanish’. Jesus is the way, the truth and the light of my life. Have you opened your heart to the Lord?

“I speak with God all the time. He guides me through the day. He helps me with every move. I trust God with my life, and rejoice in his love. I used to be a sinner, until I let Jesus into my life. Now, I talk with him all day. He told me to open the door to you today. He knew you needed saving. I follow everything the Lord tells me, but sometimes… Sometimes I wonder if it’s really God… Like right now I hear him. He’s talking to me. ‘Kill them! Kill them now!’

Chris Answer

What is it about girls and cats? You don’t hear men say “my cat is better than God”. No way.

Men know that God is better than cats. It’s your dog who is better than God.

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Get Rid Of Jehovah’s Witnesses