Can’t Find Ms Right

December 11th, 2000

“I can’t seem to meet Ms Right.

If I’m not working, cooking gourmet meals, or at the gym, I’ve got my head in one book or another. How can I meet that special someone for a long-term relationship?”

Bryan North

Jo’s Advice

Sounds like somebody’s just too well adjusted for his own good.

Don’t you know, no woman falls in love with a man who’s got his shit together. Women are attracted to bastards who will treat them badly, or emotionally crippled sad cases who will bleed them dry. You just get overlooked in the crowd, quietly sitting there, briefcase by your side, Wordsworth in one hand, dumb-bell in the other, double roasted duck risotto in front of you, sipping on freshly squeezed celery, tomato and ginger juice. What you’re missing is a Kathmandu back-pack full of baggage on your back.

Doesn’t matter what it is – maybe your father didn’t ever say he loved you, maybe you walked in on the love of your life in bed with someone else, maybe the boys at school laughed at the size of your penis, hell you might even have a destructive rebel without a cause death wish. Whatever.

Just build yourself a wall around you, and women will smell the “enigmatic mystery” and come flocking from afar to try and get to the “true you.” And if you keep the briefcase, book, dumb-bells and cooking, you can’t fail.

You’ll probably end up on some Cleo Bachelor of the year list, as long as you don’t start believing your own story and end up committed first.

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Can’t Find Ms Right