Prince Charles and Camilla's wedding was almost runied by natives firing arrows at the happy couple. Luckily they all landed in Camilla's hat.
Prince Charles is getting married again. Does anyone care? Not really.
The royal wedding of the century will happen in April, and will probably run like a dream. Many people’s weddings run more like a nightmare. This month, the Gorskys look at the worst possible scenarios for your wedding day.
- You realise your partner is Camilla Parker-Bowles.
- You realise your partner is Prince Charles.
- You screw up your vows and end up marrying the celebrant.
- You screw up your vows and end up marrying the bride’s father.
- You get your vows right, and find you’re married to Camilla Parker-Bowles.
- As the bride walks down the aisle, you realise you’re in the wrong church.
- When the preacher asks if there is any reason this couple should not wed, your partner raises their hand.
- The wedding ceremony has to be on time, because your partner is due back in his cell at 5 o’clock.
- As the bride walks down the aisle, you realise you don’t have the ring.
- As the bride walks down the aisle, you realise you don’t have the ring, and you probably left it in the stripper’s bra.
- As the bride walks down the aisle, you realise she WAS the stripper.
- You notice your partner’s side of the church seems to be filled with Klans-men and your name is Leroy.
- Your partner laughs hysterically when they’re required to say “I do”.
- Everyone waves goodbye to the bridal limousine, until you realise it’s being stolen.
- Your partner is an hour late for the wedding because she got detention.
- During the service you start to find the bride’s father more attractive than she is.
- You vow to stay with your partner in sickness or in health. Moments after the wedding they admit they only married you for your kidneys.
- Your partner’s glass eye falls out into the wedding cake.
- The congratulatory kiss from your partner’s father includes tongue.
- During the bridal waltz, you realise your partner has two left feet. Literally.
- At the conclusion of the reception, the best-man takes the bride’s entire dress off with his teeth.
- As you throw the bridal bouquet, it strikes your sister in the temple, killing her instantly.
- During the reception, you suddenly discover why your bride was so adamant about not getting married during a full moon.
- You realise it wasn’t such a great idea to say your wedding vows in Klingon, and discover you have legally wed the priest and declared war on Alpha Centauri.
- You get so drunk at the reception, you’re unable to take your own clothes off at the bridal suite.
- Moments before the wedding, you get a call from Prince Charles, asking if you’d be interested in a threesome with Camilla Parker-Bowles tonight.
As the minister was stating our vow to repeat, I replied “What did you say?”
We had a traditional Anglican white wedding – church and all. My wife loves the language of the King James bible, so we asked the wedding ceremony to use this version – only my wife didn’t realise the catch.
As the minister asked “Do you, Louise, promise to love, honour and obey?”, instead of “I do.”, we received from Louise “and Obey!!????”
Well, the whole church just cracked up.
You wake up sober the next morning and find that your bride is about sixty years older than you thought.
You come out of the bathroom on your wedding night, and your room is full of cops, and your bride is holding a badge in one hand and your stash in the other.
Charles postponed his wedding until Saturday so he can attend the funeral of Pope John Paul II on Friday. Bummer, to have to go to a funeral two days in a row.
You realise you’re the star of a new movie, Camilla: Queen of the Desert.
You’re a naiive young, 22-year-old bride, who met and fell in love with your groom in a chatroom at http://www.msn.com. Needless to say, you will always remember the exact moment that the fibres of your heart shred, as you walk down the isle and clap eyes upon your 60 year-old groom.
The minister is so drunk he accidentally marries your partner… then weds you to the brides father
You realize you won’t be getting any because your husband is passed out from drinking seven bottles of cheap champagne.
The church is double-booked, and your bride starts making out with the other guy
As the bridal march begins, so does your IBS.
Not only do half your friends not show up (and don’t send gifts either) but then your parents pretend they thought you were paying for the reception.
You forget your wedding dress at home and your maid of honor doesnt show up because she died in a car crash.
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The church catches on fire and your husband falls madly in love with the fire chief.
You’re engaged to Alf.
But it could be worse, it could be ET.
Or it could be worse still, it could be Steven Spielberg
You kill a man and receive life sentence and are never released to your love.
You find out just before you get married that your new father/mother-in-law is your ex. This could get ugly.
You notice that your bride can take a piss while STANDING!
When the minister says “Do you…?’, you hear a large number of shotguns being cocked.
When your bride to be is only interested in one thing, and that is the cake in the corner!!!
Discovering that “he” was a “she”. Happened to a friend of mine.
When you put the ring somewhere REALLY safe and you got so excited thinking about the honeymoon, it won’t come off.
When the vows include “Love, honour and obey” – and your wife-to-be says “OBEY?!”
I got maried four weeks ago, and at four in the morning I was driven for an hour in to hospital with gastro got released two hours before the wedding. Drove another hour to the ceremony place vomiting and diahorreah up until two minutes before my wife came down the aisle. I got through the ceremony, then had to be carried to the toilet. Then my wife and I had a trip to hospital to get another needle then had our reception. I held out till 10:30, then retired to the hotel room with not enough strength to walk let alone carry my new wife over the threshold. I was going to consumate the marrige, but our bridal party and the mother-in-law didnt leave until 1 am, by which time I had passed out on the bed. But the worst thing is I had to pay $45 for a piece of dry toast, which I threw up anyway. Hope someone finds it funny.
When the gorgeous young blonde babe with the party balloon chest puppies who works evenings, that you’ve had a 2 week whirlwind romance with, which suddenly turns into a wedding….. turns up at the bucks night as the stripper! (Whew!)
When the bride comes down the aisle you get an erection. You turn round to hide it, and knock out the vicar.
During your wedding you realise you have the same parents.
Your bride tricks you into marrying her twin sister, who smells a lot like cheese.
She doesnt turn up, so you end up marrying the very old organist to save face.
You strain your groin muscle carrying your bride over the threshold