Worst Things To Say When First Meeting Your Cyber-Lover In Real Life

March 23rd, 2003

When you said you liked animals, I didn't think you meant like that.

It’s an increasing phenomenon. More and more people meet and fall in love online. They’ve never met, but there’s an intense emotional bond between them.

One day, it gets too much, and they arrange a secret rendezvous. Sometimes at a bar. More often at a seedy motel, so they can shag like rabbits and really do all those things they’d told each other.

And that’s where reality hits.

Often, your cyber lover isn’t quite as you’d expected.

Don’t express your disappointment, though. There’s no reason to be rude. It’s unlikely you told the complete truth, either, after all.

This month, we look at the things you should avoid saying when first meeting your cyber lover.

  • Nice beard. Sue.
  • You sure type better than you look.
  • You know, I wish life had an undo key.
  • I thought you said your body was “average” sized. You never said “for an elephant”.
  • Great set of wheels. It’s a pity about the chair.
  • Is it OK if I use my laptop to cyber with my Russian mail-order bride while we do it?
  • When you said you were ‘fragrant’, I didn’t think it meant you had the worst body odour problem since mankind stopped living in swamps.
  • Nice tits, Greg.
  • I am a little disappointed that you brought along you husband, yes.
  • Well, on reflection, it does make sense that your a fat, pale, pasty geek, yes. You are online 24 hours a day, every day, after all.
  • I’m sorry I didn’t mention that I’ve got AIDS. But hey! I’m here now, so let’s shag.
  • You’re a lot balder than I imagined, Kathy.

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Worst Things To Say When First Meeting Your Cyber-Lover In Real Life