Comments on: Terrific Toast Tid-Bits

By: david arnold

david arnold — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 14:04:00 +0000

By tying buttered toast to a cat's back you can create an anti-gravity effect.

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By: mmm toast

mmm toast — Tue, 28 Feb 2006 00:14:04 +0000

Butter the toast both sides, thus it can't land butter side down.

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By: GrandPooBah

GrandPooBah — Sat, 23 Jul 2005 11:09:47 +0000

Toast makes great toilet paper, its an exfoliator and cleanser in one. Just make sure to butter it first....and remove it from the cat.

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By: melon mels

melon mels — Tue, 12 Jul 2005 00:31:01 +0000

Do not use toast as a hat, especially on a rainy day. I learnt that the hard way.

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By: Andrew R

Andrew R — Mon, 17 May 2004 10:25:23 +0000

When the toast is done, a small spring in the toaster pops the toast out. If you increase the power of the spring sufficiently, you can turn the toaster into a rocket launcher. Bread is cheaper than rockets, so ammunition is inexpensive. You are only restricted by the length of the electric cord connecting your toaster to an outlet. You can then threaten to "toast" other people with your combination toaster/rocket launcher unless they give you their bread and toast. Then you threaten MORE people, and get THEIR bread and toast, and then... and then...!

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By: queenie

queenie — Tue, 27 Apr 2004 13:31:04 +0000

You can`t put toast in the toaster only bread.

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By: Lucky Lucky Jimmy Jimmy

Lucky Lucky Jimmy Jimmy — Tue, 07 Jan 2003 22:38:31 +0000

If you're trying to impress somebody, i.e. a new girl/boyfriend or a visiting dignitary, cut your toast diagonally. It's far more sophisticated, and it can be thrown like a boomerang.

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By: D Seebs

D Seebs — Tue, 07 Jan 2003 22:38:30 +0000

You notice that your boss is stealing office supplies.

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By: Sexy clown

Sexy clown — Tue, 07 Jan 2003 22:38:30 +0000

Toast is great for stuffing into your pants so your package looks bigger.

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By: Ravi Potter

Ravi Potter — Tue, 07 Jan 2003 22:38:30 +0000

Hey, that buttered toast on the cat's back doesn't make sense! If the toast is on the cat's back and you drop the cat, the cat will land on it's feet and the toast will stay well off of the floor beacuse it's on the cat's back. Therefore no matter how much tikka masala you use nor how white the carpet is, the cat never float in mid-air! What you really need to do is suspend the toast, buttered-side-down from the cat's belly so that it is hanging at the exact same height at the bottom of the cat's feet (ie. at floor level when the cat is standing). That way, when the cat is dropped and just before it lands (on it's feet) the repelling force of the buttered toast will cause the cat to levitate.

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