Although a perennial favourite, spooning is best if there's at least one person involved.
After a while, even the best relationships can do with a bit of spicing up.
Couples can get complacent, and a vigourous nightly ritual can become a lazy once a month activity.
But it’s never too late to inject some fun and excitement into your love life.
If you’re looking for some exciting, athletic, kinky and perverted sex positions, let us be your guide. The Karma Sutra is thousands of years old, and quite frankly, a bit old fashioned in these modern times. We’ve updated that old sex positions manual with some new ones that will make your sex life tuly orgasmic.
These great sex positions will make your love life stronger (and potentially put out your lower back, so please make sure you’re paid up on your health insurance before you try them).
- Ken and Barbie style – Neither partner is allowed to bend at the elbows or knees.
- Doggie style – The man attempts to do the impossible.
- Froggie style – Male and female partners in large spa. Male attempts to fertilise female using only the water as a transmission medium. For couples who don’t like each other much any more.
- Fish style – same as Froggie style, but neither partner may use their arms or legs.
- Mummy and Daddy Love Each Other Very Much, And Hug Each Other in A Special Way style – The only position in this list you won’t be embarrassed to tell the kids about when they’re five.
- Style style – Sex with a Vogue Living editor.
- Crouch position – Each partner crouches down on the ground, then simultaneously leaps up, and attempts to couple whilst in mid-air.
- Couch position – Same as the crouch position, but starting at opposite ends of the living room couch.
- Ouch position – Usual outcome of the crouch position.
- Lazy Susan style – Susan goes to sleep.
- Russian style – Partners queue for hours for enough vodka to make each other look attractive.
- Nostrodamus sex – Any encounter that comes as a complete surprise.
- Osama Bin Laden’s position – If you know this position, please contact the FBI for your $25 million reward.
- Bank style – Screw the customers.
- Missionary position – Each partner kneels and prays.
The Mike Komes You don’t know who he is or why you woke up next to him.
Gamer Style The man tries to play his game while the woman plays with his joystick
Snow sex You dont know how many inches you’re gonna get, or how long it will last!
Stealth style Hide in a box, sneak around a corner, just as long as she doesn’t see you coming.
Matrix Style – th partners put on sunglasses, and dress in black. They then fly around the room and run on walls in slow motion.
Marathon Style A 3 day event featuring such events as the 23-Second-Dash, the ‘Backseat-of-the-car’ Relay and the Condom Toss
Praying Mantis Style When you’re done somebody gets eaten…
Carnival Style You must be this tall to ride.
Lazy Susan Style (Advanced) Intercourse while spinning at high speed
Alaskan Style Actually not a lot of style here, just lots of guys with blue ballz
Yoda Style The mind trick must you use, if nookie you want
Discovery Channel Style Do it with the Croc Hunter filming you
Microsoft Style rgasm causes fatal exception resulting in blue screen of death.
QWERTY Style exual intercourt atop a keyboard. Experience the rush of orgasm while flooding your favorite chat room.
Sloth Style oreplay is done over a period of weeks while hanging from a tree.
John Ashcroft Style nvolves reading other people’s mail until climax.
Predator Style Dress in warpaint and hide in the bushes before your partnet gets home from work. Then as they walk by, jump out screaming and have at it!
Bullshit artist sex ook I’ve liked you for a while now and I’m so happy to be lying here with you but I would love to get your phone number so I can call you and we can go out sometime.
Ultra Light Put wings on your lawnmower. Chase each other on the runway and attempt airborne intimacy.
DJ Style For those not into S&M but R&B. You feel the drumming of music, see lights flashing before your eyes, your body covered in sweat, and you’re thirsty but a bottle of water is $10!!! Contraception? The rhythm method of course! Warning – you could slip your disc doing this one.
Snail Mail Style Like cyber-sex and phone-sex, but through the postal service. Takes a little longer, and both partners seem to lose intrest after a while.
Plumber position you stay in all day and still no one comes.
Necrophiliac postion climb on and get get off all while the partner is asleep.
Mullet style – er a hard day of diesel engine repair, it’s nice to come home to a little business in front, and party in the back.
Quantum position One of you hides in a box with Schrodingers cat, the other decides how you’re having sex before opening the box to prove it.
Microsoft Windows 98 style Everyone gets screwed. It is reported to log file 000alep9721#.txt
Prime Minister Howard style you don’t know how, but people are getting screwed…your minister for defence has all the details.
Doggy style where the girl rolls over and the guy begs.
Hillbilly style sorta like doggie style just have your clothes hanging off your knees and leave your boots on.
Microsoft style Do the same position everyweek but insist to your partner that its new and improved.