Great Sex Positions

December 1st, 2001
spoons Great Sex Positions

Although a perennial favourite, spooning is best if there's at least one person involved.

After a while, even the best relationships can do with a bit of spicing up.

Couples can get complacent, and a vigourous nightly ritual can become a lazy once a month activity.

But it’s never too late to inject some fun and excitement into your love life.

If you’re looking for some exciting, athletic, kinky and perverted sex positions, let us be your guide. The Karma Sutra is thousands of years old, and quite frankly, a bit old fashioned in these modern times. We’ve updated that old sex positions manual with some new ones that will make your sex life tuly orgasmic.

These great sex positions will make your love life stronger (and potentially put out your lower back, so please make sure you’re paid up on your health insurance before you try them).

  • Ken and Barbie style – Neither partner is allowed to bend at the elbows or knees.
  • Doggie style – The man attempts to do the impossible.
  • Froggie style – Male and female partners in large spa. Male attempts to fertilise female using only the water as a transmission medium. For couples who don’t like each other much any more.
  • Fish style – same as Froggie style, but neither partner may use their arms or legs.
  • Mummy and Daddy Love Each Other Very Much, And Hug Each Other in A Special Way style – The only position in this list you won’t be embarrassed to tell the kids about when they’re five.
  • Style style – Sex with a Vogue Living editor.
  • Crouch position – Each partner crouches down on the ground, then simultaneously leaps up, and attempts to couple whilst in mid-air.
  • Couch position – Same as the crouch position, but starting at opposite ends of the living room couch.
  • Ouch position – Usual outcome of the crouch position.
  • Lazy Susan style – Susan goes to sleep.
  • Russian style – Partners queue for hours for enough vodka to make each other look attractive.
  • Nostrodamus sex – Any encounter that comes as a complete surprise.
  • Osama Bin Laden’s position – If you know this position, please contact the FBI for your $25 million reward.
  • Bank style – Screw the customers.
  • Missionary position – Each partner kneels and prays.

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Great Sex Positions

Your Favourite Positions

  1. Cowboy style Once you’ve engaged in intercourse tell her that her sister is a better bonk than her and see if you can hang on for eight seconds!

    Current score: 31

    Simon T [07/01/2003]

  2. Ultra Light Put wings on your lawnmower. Chase each other on the runway and attempt airborne intimacy.

    Current score: 1

    Mister Cue [07/01/2003]

  3. DJ Style For those not into S&M but R&B. You feel the drumming of music, see lights flashing before your eyes, your body covered in sweat, and you’re thirsty but a bottle of water is $10!!! Contraception? The rhythm method of course! Warning – you could slip your disc doing this one.

    Current score: 0

    mad gorgon [07/01/2003]

  4. Decathlon style any ten of the above in any order you choose

    Current score: 3

    Prez GFish [07/01/2003]

  5. Snail Mail Style Like cyber-sex and phone-sex, but through the postal service. Takes a little longer, and both partners seem to lose intrest after a while.

    Current score: 1

    D Seebs [07/01/2003]

  6. Going solo postition ttempting to mate while drinking lemonade

    Current score: 29

    Will Harrison [07/01/2003]

  7. Plumber position you stay in all day and still no one comes.

    Current score: 1

    indy [07/01/2003]

  8. Necrophiliac postion climb on and get get off all while the partner is asleep.

    Current score: 0

    Alice Astraea [07/01/2003]

  9. Mullet style – er a hard day of diesel engine repair, it’s nice to come home to a little business in front, and party in the back.

    Current score: 0

    Thin-King Man [07/01/2003]

  10. Jedi Knight Style Put on a glow in the dark condom. Breathe very heavily and insist your partner joins the dark side. If partner refuses then the lightsaber fight starts.

    Current score: 1

    Doin’ it DownUnder [07/01/2003]

  11. Alaskan Style Actually not a lot of style here, just lots of guys with blue ballz

    Current score: 0

    Alone in Anchorage [07/01/2003]

  12. Discovery Channel Style Do it with the Croc Hunter filming you

    Current score: 0

    Danny H. [07/01/2003]

  13. Microsoft Style rgasm causes fatal exception resulting in blue screen of death.

    Current score: 0

    Robespierre Mullet [07/01/2003]

  14. R-Rated Movie on Free-To-Air Television Style he woman feigns excitement, the man is unable to display an erection- a few seconds later, it’s over and everyone starts thinking about products.

    Current score: 28

    millard filmore [07/01/2003]

  15. QWERTY Style exual intercourt atop a keyboard. Experience the rush of orgasm while flooding your favorite chat room.

    Current score: 0

    Robespierre Mullet [07/01/2003]

  16. Sloth Style oreplay is done over a period of weeks while hanging from a tree.

    Current score: 0

    Robespierre Mullet [07/01/2003]

  17. John Ashcroft Style nvolves reading other people’s mail until climax.

    Current score: 0

    Robespierre Mullet [07/01/2003]

  18. Predator Style Dress in warpaint and hide in the bushes before your partnet gets home from work. Then as they walk by, jump out screaming and have at it!

    Current score: 0

    D Seebs [07/01/2003]

  19. Snob Style At the height of passion, start name dropping.

    Current score: 28

    Mad Gorgon [07/01/2003]

  20. Bullshit artist sex ook I’ve liked you for a while now and I’m so happy to be lying here with you but I would love to get your phone number so I can call you and we can go out sometime.

    Current score: 0

    C.W. Hague [07/01/2003]

  21. Stealth style Hide in a box, sneak around a corner, just as long as she doesn’t see you coming.

    Current score: 0

    Antonio Brown [07/01/2003]

  22. Matrix Style – th partners put on sunglasses, and dress in black. They then fly around the room and run on walls in slow motion.

    Current score: 0

    D Seebs [07/01/2003]

  23. Under the Bed Style Just as fun as on top of the bed!

    Current score: 1

    D Seebs [07/01/2003]

  24. Marathon Style A 3 day event featuring such events as the 23-Second-Dash, the ‘Backseat-of-the-car’ Relay and the Condom Toss

    Current score: 0

    D Seebs [07/01/2003]

  25. Praying Mantis Style When you’re done somebody gets eaten…

    Current score: 0

    Sleeping with Seattle [07/01/2003]

  26. "Lets Get it On" Style One partner continously sings "Lets Get It On" by Marvin Gaye

    Current score: 1

    D Seebs [07/01/2003]

  27. Carnival Style You must be this tall to ride.

    Current score: 0

    Sleeping with Seattle [07/01/2003]

  28. Lazy Susan Style (Advanced) Intercourse while spinning at high speed

    Current score: 1

    Sleeping with Seattle [07/01/2003]

  29. Ninja Style I go in, I go out, you never know I was there.

    Current score: 2

    Boinking In Boston [07/01/2003]

  30. Yoda Style The mind trick must you use, if nookie you want

    Current score: 2

    Boinking In Boston [07/01/2003]

How Do You Like To Do It?

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