Quick Tips On How To Rob Banks

April 1st, 1999
 Quick Tips On How To Rob Banks

Always trim your fringe before robbing a bank. It could not only get in the way of your line of sight, but could get caught in the trigger or under your feet.

It’s easy to get confused when robbing a bank. A simple lapse of concentration, and you’re likely to yell “Give me all the monkeys you’ve got in the safe.”

To help you stay calm, Liam & Chris are pleased to provide the following tips.

  • Always have a gun. If you’re using your thumb and finger, remember to put it in your pocket.
  • It’s OK to jump the queue if you’re in a balaclava.
  • Trying to rob an automatic teller with a gun will not work, unless you know the PIN.
  • Don’t ever rob the Bank of Melbourne, because you’ll get charged twice… once for robbing the Bank of Melbourne, and then again for robbing the Westpac Bank.
  • Banks to avoid: the blood bank and the sperm bank.
  • Put the stocking on your head BEFORE you ask for all the money in the safe.
  • Laughing like a maniac will make the tellers scared; giggling like a school-girl will not.

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Quick Tips On How To Rob Banks

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