The world is focused on one problem at the moment, but we think there are other important issues that need to be addressed.
This month, we present some of the other Wars the world should declare.
- War on TV Terrorism – World coalition against people who constantly change channels without notice.
- War on Hunger – World coalition threatens to bomb hungry people.
- War on Errorism – World coalition against typos.
- War on Mullets – a world coalition against Billy Ray Cyrus.
- War on Banality – A world coalition threatens to bomb television stations until they stop producing reality television.
- War on Hype – World coalition threatens to bomb anyone who makes a big deal about anything. (* Also see War on Constantly Stating the Obvious).
- War on Constantly Stating the Obvious – World coalition targeting television journalists, who constantly state the obvious.
- War on Hyperbole – World coalition targeting politicians who make overly grand promises. The war to end all wars.
- War on Peace – a world coalition threatens to bomb any nation that refuses to commit war.
- War on War – a world coalition threatens to bomb any nation that threatens war.
- War on Apathy – World coalition of countries that can’t be bothered threatening war.
- War on Infotainment – World coalition threatens to bomb home shopping shows in four easy instalments.
- War on Morons – World Coalition declares war on Professional Boxers.
- War on Boron – World coalition declares war on the fifth element.
War on the Letter ‘i’ ny product or service that starts with the letter ‘i’ is replaced with a ‘z’ or something.
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War on Love Toys A real challenge, since they are hard to blow up!
War on Balloons You know the ones that clowns use, that make loud sweeking noises as they twist and turn it into a little bunny rabbit. Blow them all up I say!!! Hey wait a sec?
War On Freebie Snatchers People who when shopping find a product with no price on it, make the stupid remark, "Well, that must mean it’s for free. Ha ha ha!". All retail staff should be given Star Trek type phasers (set to kill), and told to show no mercy. What do you mean, I’m bitter and twisted after 15 years in retail?
War of Koalas They’re eating all our eucalyptus trees.
War against jehova witnesses knocking on your door with kids so u dont have to be polite about telling them to f*%$ off!
War on homosexual men Is it right sneak up behind them?
War on France Why not?
War on WWII A worldwide effort to stop the insane and nauseating spate of WWII films, books, and documentaries on this over exposed event. Tom Brokaw and Tom Hanks will have to be captured and forced to stand trial in order to declare victory.
War on self die and let live.
War on drugs Let’s go to battle toasted!
War Against Apple Macs There are enough paperweights in the world… who needs electronic ones?
War against rappers who write songs about other rappers. You could kill them and make a video about it.
War on Helium (squeaky voices) You’re going to die you chipmunk asshole.
War on KFC It’s a conspiracy damnit. They are trying to brainwash us with their chicken.
War on Ambiguity Kill some people or things somewhere.
war on laziness
War on Euthanasiasts Kill them before they expect it. Bonus – element of surprise facial expressions.
War On Incompetent Office Managers World coalition decides to bomb all those dumbass managers who measure their worth by the amount of credit they can steal from the work their subordinates actually do.
War on people who can’t finish s…
War On Politically Correct Anti-War Protesting Because they are just as righteously brain dead as “patriotic” pro-war crusaders. Watching Michael Moore in itself doesn’t give you an informed opinion.
War on People With More Appliances Than Me
I actually saw a T.V. screen in the middle of a steering wheel! KILL these people now!
War on Dead People Who’d miss them?
War on effort…………..
War on World Coalitions A World Coalition threatening to nuke all World Coalitions that are made to declare war on something like World Coalitions
War on Procrastination-we can start next Monday!
War on the War Against Drugs It needs no explanation.
War on fairy ravers Swift action must be taken against these dummy sucking, legwarmer wearing, furry backpacked 15yr olds who take up valuable dance space at raves while absent mindedly twirling glow sticks and shouting “Catrina! We’re so hard cooooore!” SHOW NO MERCY!!!!!!!!!!!
War on KFC The only damn thing on this planet that DON’T taste like chikin’