Olympic Scandals That Haven’t Hit The News Yet

May 1st, 1999

xin 4908032223207983059534 Olympic Scandals That Havent Hit The News YetSure, you’ve heard of outrageous Olympic bribes. Phil Coles and his $6,000 cufflinks. Free education for the children of African delegates. Jobs for others.

The skeletons are still in the closet. Toasted Line have done some research, and now present this exclusive list of scandals you haven’t heard about yet.

  • Juan Antonio Samaranch bet Bill Clinton $300,000 that Clinton could give up smoking cigars. Clinton was about to lose the bet, and smoke his left over stash. Then he met Monica Lewinsky. Salt Lake City gets the Winter Olympics.
  • 11 March 1992. Phil Coles brings his lunch to IOC meeting in a brown paper bag. At lunchtime, he is seen eating $100 bills.
  • On way home from Winter Olympics, unnamed Dutch IOC delegate caught with 10kg of cocaine in an esky in her luggage. Claims it is “Snow from Nagano”. Let off after paying police undisclosed bribe. Cocaine ‘melts’.
  • Kieren Perkins revealed he ate Nutri-Grain before winning 1500m swim at 1996 Atlanta Games. Sponsorship deal with Uncle Toby’s is still ‘under review’.
  • Phil Coles revealed secrets of Melbourne Olympic bid to winning city Atlanta. Shock disclosures include “Weather is changeable”, and “Melbourne doesn’t really want the Games, as they will clash with the AFL Grand Final”.
  • AFL pays $789,000 to Juan Antonio Samaranch to vote against Melbourne 1996 bid. Atlanta wins Olympic Games. Grand Final is played on schedule.

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Olympic Scandals That Haven’t Hit The News Yet

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