Liam Cody as Freddy Krueger in Freddy vs Jason
With Hollywood writers on strike, and Freddy v Jason cleaning up at the box office, you just know that we’re about to be hit with a gazillion movie crossovers as Hollywood studios scramble for ideas.
Rather than be stuck with the appalling concepts the studios will come up with, we thought we’d have a crack at our own.
You’ll agree that this batch of movie crossovers would have people flocking to the cinemas.
- Ewoks v Smurfs in Smurf Chainsaw Massacre.
- Clara Bell v Hamburglar. A true fight to the death. Written by Gary Larson.
- The Odd Couple, starring C-3PO and the Terminator.
- Elmer Fudd in Goodwill Hunting Rabbits.
- Neo and Nemo in Finding the Matrix.
- James Bond meets Erin Brokovich in The Spy Who Sued Me.
- Batman v Spider-Man. Will Robin just eat Spider-Man? He is a bird.
- Superman v Stephen Hawking in Superman V: The Wheel Chair Years.
- Charlie’s Angels v The Three Stooges in the ultimate battle of the sexes.
- Rocky Balboa and Rambo in Twins.
- Find out who is the worst hotel proprietor when Norman Bates goes head to head with Basil Fawlty in Psycho Towers.
- Simba v Kimba The White Lion in The Lion King – Rematch. Now we’ll find out who’s the real king of the jungle.
- Tyler Durden in The Man With Two Brains 2
- Forrest Gump v Scooby Doo in Dumb and Dumber.
- Crocodile Dundee v The Crocodile Hunter. Will the crocodile win?
- Dirty Harry meets Jennifer Lopez in Maid in Manhattan 2. Hear Dirty Harry deliver the ultimate line: “Go ahead, make my bed.”
- The Neverending Toy Story. Buzz and Woody in a remake of the classic Neverending Story.
- Simba meets Samantha from Bewitched in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.
- A leader emerges in the fight for genetic mutants’ rights in Malcolm X-Men.
Chuckie vs Barney The final showdown between two toys from hell. Hey! its two great hours watching a porcelain doll perform every possible torture on a purple dinosaur!
Silence Of The Sorcerers Stone Hannibal Lector eats Harry Potter.
Lord of the Barbershop Frodo and friends take time off their trip and get a haircut from Cedric and Company in da Hood where their are worse things than orcs.
Pokemon: The Fellowship of the Thing Merchandise sales are down, so Pikachu and friends are in a pact to appear more cute and profitible. They journey to Mount Boon to pitch the idea of another series to the evil Bore-on.
Se7en Things I Hate About You Kevin Spacey thinks of seven reasons to kill Heath Ledger.
Harry Potter and the Mexican Harry goes to Mexico to stop Brad Pitt from using midgets to smuggle drugs across the border. Julia Roberts is a cruel female assasin who teaches Harry that bullets are faster and more effective than spells.
Sleeping Beauty & Snow White Disney’s princess are down on their luck and have to move to the porn industry… although I wouldnt be suprised if it has already happened.
Star Trek: Enemas The Borg’s latest attempt to flush the Federation from the Universe
8 Green Mile Will a wrongfully accused giant black man rap his way out of prison and intro the free life?
Indiana Jones’ Diary Harrison Ford has to choose between Hugh Grant and Colin Firth while killing a whole bunch of Nazis.
Kramer vs Kramer vs Godzilla A custody battle goes horrible wrong when Dustin Hoffman is eaten by an enormous green mutant lazard – luckily, so is Meryl Streep.
Spinal Rap A fascinating documentary that looks at Eminem on the road in his “Oh so difficult Life” His girlfriend may break up his one man band.
Batman goes into space to save the universe with Hans Solo and Batgirl. He finds out that the riddler is his father and somehow we know that things have just started going down hill!
The Texas Chainsaw Mass Finally two of the creepiest horror creations are brought together: it’s Leatherface vs The Pope!
Good Wil Hunting This is a movie about Wil Anderson being hunted for his fucked up show names.
The Mickey Mouse Fight Club First rule of MMFC, is you don’t talk about MMFC. The second rule is watching young impressionable mousketeers beating the living snot out of one another is entertaining. And if you’re under 8… you have to fight.
Matrix Vs. Terminator in Terminator: Revolutions The war is on between the machines and the humans, and Neo must face up against a machine sent from the future to enslave humanity in a virtual-reality.
Rocky and the Horror Picture Show When Rocky Balboa needs to use Frank N Furter’s phone, will the man who challenges other men for a purse challenge the scientist for a gurdle?
Don’t miss Rocky’s solo: “I can make you a Manbo!”
The lesbian version of a war film on the vietnam war – Full Metal Strap-On
Empire of the Sun Records Strikes Back : a convoluted plot in which a young English lad works in a Shanghai record store at the time of the Japanese invasion. The store is finally saved from going out of business by a bunch of robots, Jedi knights and other weird people. Ends with a party in which Luke Star Walker overcomes his shyness to sing with a rock ‘n’ roll band while looters duke it out with would-be Kamakaze pilots.
John Grisham’s remake of Titanic A ship full of lawyers hits an iceberg and goes down in the middle of the sea. Can’t be all that bad, eh?
One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest vs Willy Wonka The chocolate coated prozac factory.
Sesame Street hits the Matrix Big Bird ‘wakes up’ to find he’s actually a failed actor called Bob, and Elmo discovers the pleasures of the Lady in Red when he realises that his lack of genitalia is merely a perceptive mistake.
Donny Elliot Dark tale about a boy, who, when randomly struck by a recently detached jet engine, wakes up to find he has an irresistable urge to pirrouette his way to school. He gains a stalker in a bunny mask who has the gall to beat him for being a woofter.
Wuthering Tights Robin Hood’s merry men find themselves the subject of this tale of love across the class barrier on a windswept northern moor. Heathcliff takes a right royal thrashing from the friar Tuck. Ends tragically with the murders of all in the old house by a vengefully jealous Marion weilding an angry whippet and a bag of coal.
Ten Rings I Hate About You Frodo meets some cute but acerbic high school elves and wants to date them but Bilbo won’t let him. Frodo has one rule: to ring them all!
About a Boy In the Bedroom.
Starring Michael Jackson. The story of a man’s relationships with young boys.
Tali-Tubbies
Bin Lala brainwashes Stinky Winky, Poo, and Dicky to hijack that hoover thing and crash it into the narrator’s house, so he can’t say ‘no’ to them anymore.
Alien v. Predator v. Freddy v. Jason v. The Olsen Twins Whoever wins, we lose.
The Malcolm X-Files Mouldy and Sulker are called upon to investigate a CIA conspiracy about black rights leaders from outer space