Millennium Madness: Make It Memorable

August 1st, 1999

Will your New Year's Eve be as memorable as this oneTo celebrate the release of the Gorskys' first single 'New Millennium', we would like to offer you some great suggestions about how to make your new millennium celebration truly memorable.

  • Spend up big on your credit card, and hope like hell that the Y2K bug destroys all the records.
  • At your New Year’s Eve party, blow the fuse box on the stroke of midnight to induce mass panic. Start looting. (Note: don’t hold the party at your own home; it’s stupid to steal your own TV set.)
  • Go to both Michael Jackson concerts in Sydney and Hawaii, then spend the next thousand years wondering ‘why?’
  • Get a job in the local power plant, and blow the fuse for your entire city to induce mass panic. Start looting. (Although what you can steal from a power plant isn’t all that good.)
  • Avoid discussions about when the new millennium actually starts. Go with the flow, and hold your own private celebration in 2001.
  • Help crash the telephone network by making a call at 12:01 a.m. to see if the phone is working.
  • Cripple the water supply by experimentally flushing your toilet.
  • Hack into your local airport flight tower, jam their radar, then give false directions to the planes so they crash. Laugh at the overly smug idiots who said flying on New Year’s Eve would be perfectly safe. Start looting.
  • Have sex with Claudia Schiffer. (Not likely, but worth a try.)|
  • Become an evil villain, devise a cunning plan to blow up the world unless you are made Supreme & Absolute Ruler of the Planet. Become Supreme & Absolute Ruler of the Planet. Blow the world’s fuse box to induce mass panic. Start looting.
Millennium Madness: Make It Memorable