Just in case you haven't seen a fish, this is a picture of one. Uncooked.
Fish. We’ve all seen at least one. Normally, you see them on a plate, with that horrible, dead-eye looking up at you, and you wonder why the hell it is that chefs can’t chop the bloody heads off.
They don’t serve the cows head on your plate when you order the steak, do they. They chop it’s head off.
And it’s not because one cow gets served into around 60,000 steaks. Who the hell would eat a cow’s head? They could recycle if they wanted to.
The reason they serve the fish head is to gross you out, and stop you spending all night in the restaurant, when there are people waiting. But, instead of leaving early to go home and hurl, why not tell all your friends these Fun Fish Facts.
- Fish live in water.
- Fish actually breathe water, like Aquaman.
- Fish can swim from as soon as they’re born.
- Because they breathe water, fish have trouble drowning, so it’s kind of irrelevant if they can swim or not.
- Fish eat other fish, except for the vegetarian fish.
- One species of vegetarian fish is called the White, Pale, Anaemic Pointer shark; it eats only vegetarians.
- Sardines naturally grow in tins. The way the lid cuts you is part of their natural defence mechanism.
- Oysters aren’t fish, but live in the sea, and taste a bit like swallowing your own phlegm.
- If every fish in the world was called Eric, there’d be no way to tell them apart.
- We don’t understand fish language, so they might actually all be called Eric, for all we know.
- Some people think fish are a higher intelligence.
- These people are known as morons.
- If a black fish walks in front of you at night, it has evolved considerably.
- In ancient Rome, people who sold fish were called Fish Sellers (except in Latin, not English).
- The French word for fish is poisson.
- Smearing a fish over your body will make you smell like a fish.
- The smell of a fish is nothing like the smell of Poison perfume, even if it is spelt almost the same as poisson.
- Fish don’t have a sense of smell, so they don’t mind smelling like fish.
- If you swallow a live fish, it will die.
- Attaching fishing hooks through your body, then hanging yourself from the ceiling really hurts.
- Fish don’t like being eaten.
- A group of fish is known as a school.
- A school of sardines is known as the Victorian State School system, where over-crowding is endemic.
- Early Christians used to draw a fish in the sand to recognise each other. This was in reference to the miracle of the loaves and the fishes. Why they didn’t draw bread as well, is another issue.
- The Miracle Of The Loaves and Fishes is the first recording of people eating tuna sandwiches.
- In space, no one can hear you fish.
- A fish released into the inky vacuum of space is unlikely to survive long, but NASA hasn’t tried it yet.
( Why not check out ‘Pisces, ARISE!’, a short film about resurrecting fish?)
Fun Fish Facts
dipping fish in lemonade, beer, chocolate moose, and other substances that are not water is animal crulety, drowning them is also animal crulty. if you people seriously do this i hope you die…a life for a life no matter how big or small, these fish still have feelings even if they cant feel on the outside. if all you have to do is torchure animals then get a life.
Fish can\’t walk, only swim!
Fish don’t have legs so they can’t run away when you try to eat them!
It\’s ok to eat fish cause they haven\’t any feelings
Tuna is very good at music
If you paste fish it makes fish paste.
A fish thinks therefore it is……..
a fish
Fish go well when dropped in lemonade. BANG!!!
Fish taste really good.
Fish like to wear women’s underwear. I know because I found my fish hiding in my underwear drawer. It’s plans were thwarted.
Always check fish for ninja weapons. If they have none watch out for their kung-fu.
Fish dont have lips. Thats why they can’t play the trumpet.
Fish are never thirsty
DON’T FEED FISH CHOCOLATE MOOSE.
Did you know that a fish is actually a small shark with floppy fins and different coloured scales!
We eat fish but fish dont eat us!
Fish can swim. They tend to do this most of their life.
If a fish walks into a bar, the bartender will rarely serve him, since fish don’t often live to be 21.
If we, humans, and fish could have sex, then there would be mermaids around!! But we don’t. What a pity.
Fish don’t ride bicycles.
Fish have a five second mem…Fish have a five second mem…fish have a five second mem…
Because fish have such a short memory, saying "chips" to them in a sadistic voice isn’t as threatening as saying "mint sauce" to a sheep.
If a fish runs into a cement wall what does he say? Dam?
You can actually drown a fish by dragging it, by its tail, backwards through the water. this works well with goldfish but i dont recomend it for anything of the shark variety.
Ironically, fish scales can be weighed on scales.
Regardless of how many fish you put in the same tank, they still wont work out how to drive it.
The only skill fish seem to have is to do very long stringy poo’s. Fish are pretty crap!
Fish hate being flushed down toilets.
Spraying kitchen bleach into a fish tank really kills the party
Chocolate fish can’t swim.