Excuses For North Korea Missing Their Report Deadline

January 1st, 2008

Kim Jong-Il and the Korean People's Army Choir

Due to the extended season of 'Kim Jong-Il and the Korean People's Army Choir do the songs of Britany Spears', they were not able to submit the report by the December 31 deadline.

On December 31, 2007, North Korea was expected to submit an important document outlining the details of its nuclear weapons program in exchange for essential aid.

The document was not received by the deadline, to the dismay of the US and its allies.

Now the world waits to find out why military leader and ruler of North Korea, Kim Jong-Il, and his government failed to submit on-time.

Here’s what we think North Korea’s excuse might be…

  • A capitalist pig-dog ate the document.
  • Kim Jong-Il left it in the pocket of his other safari suit.
  • Someone’s little sister spilt hot uranium on it.
  • The printer ran out of ink.
  • South Korea told us it was due next week.
  • The hard drive melted down during a nuclear test.
  • It must have got lost in the Whitehouse SPAM filter.
  • We got hooked on Facebook and lost track of time.
  • It’s almost finished, but needs a more compelling ending.
  • The Commodore 64 crashed before we could save it to tape.
  • There was a M*A*S*H marathon on Pyongyang TV.
  • We will not hand it over until George W. Bush takes back his “axis of evil” taunt.
  • It needs another draft as the characters are too one-dimensional.
  • We had our fingers crossed when we agreed to the deadline.

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Excuses For North Korea Missing Their Report Deadline

What do you think?

  1. "America…you used to be cool…"

    Current score: 0

    CozB [12/04/2008]

  2. Kim Jong-II was jerkin’ off to some porn when his testicles exploded, causing the surgery to kill him as he had 5 seconds to live after the surgery

    Current score: 0

    Punky Joe [15/02/2008]

  3. \’Late\’ is a neo-imperialist construct designed to support the military-industrial complex which we wish we had.

    Current score: 0

    Digger of Gondwanaland [29/01/2008]

  4. Unfortunatly the document that you requested was mistakenly loaded into one of our 50kt nuclear warheads. We apoligise for the delay, but assure you that the document is now on it’s way. In fact, if the tests of our Taepodong-2 ICBM were correct, you should be recieving the document in 10,9,8,7…..

    Current score: 0

    alan kaider [22/01/2008]

  5. They don\’t want to give away the ending of the report before they bomb the world…opps!

    Current score: 0

    Patrick Coyle [08/01/2008]

  6. Clearly he and his choir were too busy rehearsing for their Britney cover-gig to waste time on irrelevant, peripheral things like nuclear weapons or aid.

    Current score: 0

    Ryan The Great [07/01/2008]

  7. You have not received it yet???, man I sent it last week, must be a problem with the mail or something, but dont worry, as soon as I get back to Korea I will resend it myself

    Current score: 0

    Andres Cohen [06/01/2008]

  8. Kim Jong Il\’s dog died. Well… he ate it.

    Current score: 0

    Jess T [04/01/2008]

  9. Kim Jong-Il’s grandmother died. Well, he had her killed.

    Current score: 0

    Jess T [04/01/2008]

  10. We mistook the shreader for the fax machine!

    Current score: 0

    Neville Holland [04/01/2008]

  11. Kim Jong-Il: "I Will Only Finish It When America Admits I Look As Cool As MC Hammer In These Sunglasses!"

    Current score: 0

    Wee Mad [01/01/2008]

What will North Korea's excuse be for getting their document in late?

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