Julian Assange... Public enemy number one? Or ageing member of an 80's pop band? You be the judge!
Wikileaks. It doesn’t sound so scary, but it certainly has US government officials wetting their pants.
The release of these “cablegate” documents has turned many outspoken politicians into cautious diplomats as everyone scrambles to remember what the hell they actually said in those communications.
Some juicy information has already been discovered and what else is yet to be revealed in those secret documents? Have aliens made contact? Could Bill Clinton really play the sax? Was Michael Jackson ever actually black?
So this month The Gorskys will be revealing a series of conspiracies that will make politicians, b-grade celebrities and global brands tremble in their socks.
We present Gorsky-gate (or Leaky.Comedy – whatever)…
- In 2008 it took 3 weeks and 14 economists to explain to George W Bush that you could not actually see a “housing bubble” and the GFC was not caused by “some damn democrat with a pin”.
- Aliens made contact in 2007 but were accidentally put through to an unspecified telecommunications company customer support line, kept on hold for 3 hours and then lost to the accounts department.
- Nickelback were created by the CIA to try to destroy the music industry.
- iPhones were actually developed by large energy companies to keep people using to the power grid regularly.
- James Cameron was witnessed stealing secret documents from the Blue Man group in the time leading up to the production of Avatar.
- Fox news was unbiased for 7 seconds on November 10, 2009. This was quickly rectified with a barrage of hate and misinformation lasting over 12 months until the 2010 midterm elections and beyond.
- North Korea just wants to be loved.
We’ll discover that I’ve been hiding a dark, terrible secret these last 10 years…
I’ve been waiting all this time to reveal that in fact…
…I let the dogs out.
We will find out whether or not OJ, definitively, did or didn’t do it.
Elvis was an alien.
Firefly has a second season.
The Lunar Landing was filmed in a Hollywood basement.
Kurt Cobain was actually murdered.
Osama bin Laden is planning to kill Santa this Christmas and impersonate him on Christmas Eve. (He has already grown the beard.) He will booby-trap every child’s presents with nail bombs so that when they are opened… ‘KABOOM’. [So please children, open your presents very gingerly this Christmas morning, and make sure the rest of your family are standing well back.]
Satan is real. Saddam was right about the USA.
We’ll finally know, once and for all, what song Tenacious D actually played for the Devil in Tribute.
Julian Assange was hired to be both the mouth and the butt of political comedy. He accepted the job when his little sister was no longer capable of hiring him to sing at her many white weddings.
Santa is not real. It’s just mummies and daddies pretending.
Iran only wants to use nuclear energy for peaceful purposes–that is, to make the world a more peaceful place by nuking their enemies out of existence.