No one ever complains that your coffee equipment is too big.
We all know that “coffee” is the big dating double entendre.
“Would you like to come in for coffee?” ain’t the same as “would you like to come in for a cup of coffee?”
Many people think they’re in interchangeable, but they’re wrong.
“A cup of coffee” means a cup of coffee. “Coffee” means sex.
This month, we look at reasons why a cup of coffee is better than an offer of sex.
- A long black coffee is in fact long and black.
- A capuccino is a guarantee of good head.
- Coffee keeps you up all night. Sex makes you sleep.
- You can always start the day with good coffee.
- Coffee doesn’t leave hairs in your teeth.
- Coffee always goes down smoothly.
- Drinking coffee on your own doesn’t make you feel like a sad loser. Sex on you own does.
- You don’t get into trouble for having coffee in front of your parents.
- Spliing coffee in your bed leaves a wet patch, but you hardly ever spill it. There’s always a wet patch after sex.
- You can have great coffee with your sister.
- There’s no moral or ethical dilemma in paying for coffee.
- Coffee tastes great.
- A cup of coffee never complains if you want another. Sexual partners do.
- No one calls you weird for wanting your coffee with milk. Combining sex and milk is an official fetish.
- It’s forbidden to covet your neighbour’s ass, but the Bible doesn’t mention his coffee.
- You can make coffee last as long as you want.
- Cofffee doesn’t smell bad in the morning.
- It’s OK for semen to taste of coffee. It’s not OK for coffee to taste like semen.
- It is possible to drink a cup of coffee even when you’re really tanked.
You can drink coffee in a cnfessional and not feel really weird about it.
1. You can mix ice cream with coffee to get a better taste, if you mix sex and ice cream, you are called a freak
2. It is ok to say you like coffee more then sex,i mean think about it, is sex always there after you are totally wasted from a party the night before??
A cup of coffee won’t scold you for drinking it too quickly or slowly.
A girl will have coffe with you on the first date, or you could even have it with a friend.
Coffee in a sex shop = “What can I get for you?”
Sex in a coffee shop = “You have the right to remain silent…”
You don’t have to remember your cup’s birthday or tell it you love it.
While having coffee with your girlfriend you can say that her mother’s tastes better.
you can drink coffee at any age and not get intouble because your under age!!
You can proclaim your love for coffee freely.
You can freely lap your coffee like a dog without being called a sex pig.
You dont have to be “in the mood” to have coffee.
Coffee doesn’t require a condom, unless there isn’t a mug around…
It’s nice to wake up to the smell of coffee.
I can always have my coffee big, black, and strong.
You can have coffee in the back seat of a Fiat Panda.
You can have coffee with your students.
You can have a coffee with a lot of different girls in the same day… and you won’t be so tired…
You can get a coffee from a vending machine. Never heard of a sex vending machine.
You don’t get in trouble for asking your secretary for a cup of coffee.
If your girlfirend refuses to get you a cup of coffee you can get some for yourself. If your girlfriend refuses sex there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.
Coffee doesnt care how many other cups you have had before.
If coffee is hot, it burns your throat.
If sex burns your throat, you have a problem.
You won’t feel wierd if you have coffee with a man.
Coffee comes in different flavours!
White coffee is better than black coffee.
A cup of coffee dosn’t get mad if you drink from another cup.
You can eat sammiches or other delightful treats while you have your coffee. but you can not do such luxeries while having sex.
With 99 cents you can have a never ending pot of coffee; with sex how much can you get with 99 cents?
You dont get sneered at for being addicted to caffeine.
If you have had enough coffee you can always re-heat it. You cant walk away from the middle of sex and come back to it later to "re-heat" it.
If you’re addicted to coffee you dont have to see a doctor; if you’re addicted to sex you do.
In the morning, if you are in the mood for a black coffe or one with extra cream and sugar you’ll drink it and no one will suspect anything… coffee will always suit your preferences.
You can light up a cigarette halfway through a coffee