No one ever complains that your coffee equipment is too big.
We all know that “coffee” is the big dating double entendre.
“Would you like to come in for coffee?” ain’t the same as “would you like to come in for a cup of coffee?”
Many people think they’re in interchangeable, but they’re wrong.
“A cup of coffee” means a cup of coffee. “Coffee” means sex.
This month, we look at reasons why a cup of coffee is better than an offer of sex.
- A long black coffee is in fact long and black.
- A capuccino is a guarantee of good head.
- Coffee keeps you up all night. Sex makes you sleep.
- You can always start the day with good coffee.
- Coffee doesn’t leave hairs in your teeth.
- Coffee always goes down smoothly.
- Drinking coffee on your own doesn’t make you feel like a sad loser. Sex on you own does.
- You don’t get into trouble for having coffee in front of your parents.
- Spliing coffee in your bed leaves a wet patch, but you hardly ever spill it. There’s always a wet patch after sex.
- You can have great coffee with your sister.
- There’s no moral or ethical dilemma in paying for coffee.
- Coffee tastes great.
- A cup of coffee never complains if you want another. Sexual partners do.
- No one calls you weird for wanting your coffee with milk. Combining sex and milk is an official fetish.
- It’s forbidden to covet your neighbour’s ass, but the Bible doesn’t mention his coffee.
- You can make coffee last as long as you want.
- Cofffee doesn’t smell bad in the morning.
- It’s OK for semen to taste of coffee. It’s not OK for coffee to taste like semen.
- It is possible to drink a cup of coffee even when you’re really tanked.
You can drink coffee with your clothes on.
The checkout chicks at the supermarket never give you ‘that look’ when your buying coffee.
I won’t get fired for typing coffee into a search engine at work.
Coffee can’t give you herpes.
Nobody ever questions you about the gender of the coffee you’re drinking.
With coffee, it’s pretty hard to ‘miss’
You can easily drink coffee while driving. Sex on the other hand is not such a good idea behind the wheel.
Coffee never sceams out someone else’s name.
It’s a LOT easier to have coffee while you are driving.
You don’t mind licking the “brown stuff” off your finger.
1) Coffee at work is free, and everyone enjoys it.
2) Coffee at work will neither get you fired or promoted, depending on your skill and enthusiasm for it.
3) You don’t have to take your coffee to the bathroom at work to enjoy it.
NBA star Kobe Bryant doesn’t have to force someone to have a cup of coffee with him.
Coffee that comes in small packages can be equally delightful as that which comes in large packages.
There is no debate over whether coffee is better before or after getting married.
You don’t need to feel bad if you have “instant” coffee
When on a business trip with others from work, you can have lots of coffee without being talked about back at the office.
Your priest won’t get in trouble for having a nice long cup of coffee with you after church.
People look up to you for quitting coffee. They bet how long it lasts when you quit sex.
You can be a tiny fat scabby-headed midget and still find coffee.
Coffee comes in cups, not even the best porn star can do that.
Coffee lasts more than 10 miniutes, and good coffee is easy to find.
If you’re under 18, you can still buy a magazine that haspictures of people drinking coffee in it.
A coffee-filter helps you get good coffee. A sex-filter prevents you from visiting sex sites.
It is legal everywhere to have coffee when you’re underaged.
When you finish your coffee, it doesn’t want to talk
You dont have to call coffie the day after
You don’t have to line the cup with latex before pouring your coffee into it.
Coffee might keep me awake while I read through this list. Sex will just distract me from it
It’s legal to spread photo’s of teenagers drinking coffee.
Coffee is always hot