No one ever complains that your coffee equipment is too big.
We all know that “coffee” is the big dating double entendre.
“Would you like to come in for coffee?” ain’t the same as “would you like to come in for a cup of coffee?”
Many people think they’re in interchangeable, but they’re wrong.
“A cup of coffee” means a cup of coffee. “Coffee” means sex.
This month, we look at reasons why a cup of coffee is better than an offer of sex.
- A long black coffee is in fact long and black.
- A capuccino is a guarantee of good head.
- Coffee keeps you up all night. Sex makes you sleep.
- You can always start the day with good coffee.
- Coffee doesn’t leave hairs in your teeth.
- Coffee always goes down smoothly.
- Drinking coffee on your own doesn’t make you feel like a sad loser. Sex on you own does.
- You don’t get into trouble for having coffee in front of your parents.
- Spliing coffee in your bed leaves a wet patch, but you hardly ever spill it. There’s always a wet patch after sex.
- You can have great coffee with your sister.
- There’s no moral or ethical dilemma in paying for coffee.
- Coffee tastes great.
- A cup of coffee never complains if you want another. Sexual partners do.
- No one calls you weird for wanting your coffee with milk. Combining sex and milk is an official fetish.
- It’s forbidden to covet your neighbour’s ass, but the Bible doesn’t mention his coffee.
- You can make coffee last as long as you want.
- Cofffee doesn’t smell bad in the morning.
- It’s OK for semen to taste of coffee. It’s not OK for coffee to taste like semen.
- It is possible to drink a cup of coffee even when you’re really tanked.
You can drink coffee with your clothes on.
In Holland you can get a free cup of coffee in the supermarket. No way you can get a free woman in a supermarket!
Coffee machines come with warranty
Coffee is always hot
It’s legal to spread photo’s of teenagers drinking coffee.
A coffee-filter helps you get good coffee. A sex-filter prevents you from visiting sex sites.
Coffee might keep me awake while I read through this list. Sex will just distract me from it
If you’re under 18, you can still buy a magazine that haspictures of people drinking coffee in it.
If you spill coffee on a girl’s dress, the world won’t care
You don’t have to line the cup with latex before pouring your coffee into it.
Coffee lasts more than 10 miniutes, and good coffee is easy to find.
You can sleep straight after coffee… No, wait a minute!
Coffee comes in cups, not even the best porn star can do that.
You can be a tiny fat scabby-headed midget and still find coffee.
Coffee makers come with an instruction manual.
You dont have to call coffie the day after
People look up to you for quitting coffee. They bet how long it lasts when you quit sex.
Your priest won’t get in trouble for having a nice long cup of coffee with you after church.
Giving coffee to children is not illegal, though they may not like the taste. Paying children for coffee is not illegal, either. And if you ask you girlfriend/wife to bring her friend over for the three of you to have coffee together, she’s more likely to be happy that you’re becoming more involved in her social life by getting to know her friend than to slap you.
There’s no special skill involved in getting coffee in you mouth and down your throat.
Coffee dosnt mind if you turn the kettle on
When you finish your coffee, it doesn’t want to talk
When on a business trip with others from work, you can have lots of coffee without being talked about back at the office.
Coffee never says no, never has moral qualms, and won’t complain if you want to have it until you’re shaking all over for two days straight.
You don’t need to have a great “mug” to get great coffee
You don’t need to feel bad if you have “instant” coffee
There is no debate over whether coffee is better before or after getting married.
Coffee hits about 25 million sites on Google — sex, 169 million.
Rarely when preparing for sex does your partner ask “One lump or two?”
Coffee that comes in small packages can be equally delightful as that which comes in large packages.