Career And Romance: Lethal Mixes

March 1st, 2000
Two firemen

Don't date firemen: they can take "I'm burning for your love" literally.

People from all walks of life can meet and fall in love. Some professions just don’t lend themselves to romance though.

To save you the heartache of finding out through bitter experience, we provide this handy list of professions you should never pick up.

  • Barmaids – contrary to popular opinion, barmaids are not impressed by men who spend the entire night drinking beer. The only way to impress a barmaid is not to drink, which means you will never meet her. It’s a classic catch 22.
  • Prostitutes – there’s just no challenge.
  • Nuns – too much of a challenge.
  • Garbage Collectors – they get up too early (although they do look great in shorts).
  • Female Comedians – despite what many men seem to think, yelling out “show us your tits” is neither romantic or funny.
  • McDonalds Staff – too young; why risk prison?
  • Jockeys – they might be good for a ride, but they’re so small they get lost in the silk sheets.
  • Lawyers – they earn a lot of money, but every love letter contains 38 pages of terms and conditions.
  • Doctors – their idea of foreplay is grabbing your goolies and asking you to cough.
  • Door to Door Salesmen – once you’ve invited them into your life, you can never get them to leave.
  • Accountants – do you really want to go out with someone who understands tax forms?
  • Veterinarians – they know the scientific name for the beast with two backs, and aren’t afraid to use it.

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Career And Romance: Lethal Mixes

Your suggestions

  1. Writer They’ll judge your performance and put you in their next book.

    Current score: 0

    Cindreia [18/12/2006]

  2. An Ex-con Gasoline Sstation Attendant He’ll pull his hose out of the rear too soon, and with way too much ‘stuff’ dripping down on the ground, he’ll still charge you way too much! On top of that, you can’t smoke until you leave!

    Current score: 0

    scott quick [28/07/2003]

  3. Sumo Wrestlers For a start, the only women able to open their legs wide enough would be gymnasts, while the only women able to bear the weight would be a Romanian shot-put thrower. How many Romanian shot-putting gymnasts do you know?

    Current score: 0

    Peter Reefman [06/01/2003]

  4. Psycholgist The woman will analyse you. Determine if you have a Type A or Type B personality She can then use her Psychologist skills to manpiulate you to fullfill her needs. [That doesn't sound too bad - Ed.]

    Current score: 0

    Danny [06/01/2003]

  5. Researchers they only like to watch

    Current score: 0

    Clayton [06/01/2003]

  6. Tenant Workers They may insist you take a bath with them before they arrange to have your taps repaired.

    Current score: 0

    Debbie Thomas [06/01/2003]

  7. Computer Technicians They insist that women too should be able to take a 3 and a half inch FLOPPY.

    Current score: 0

    Wade Hiers [06/01/2003]

  8. TV News Anchor Breaking news: I’m leaving.

    Current score: 0

    Anonymous [06/01/2003]

  9. Proctologists You always know where they’ve been.

    Current score: 0

    Cameron Flagstaff [06/01/2003]

  10. Queen of England Not a great selection in the world, and mostly unaccessible unless you’re royalty too.

    Current score: 0

    Chris [06/01/2003]

  11. Manager She will always ask you what time you got in.

    Current score: 0

    Richard Pit [06/01/2003]

  12. Chefs don’t get them mad, remember these are the people who sculpt vegies into those funny little animal shapes, with a 16cm carving knife!

    Current score: 0

    Jason [06/01/2003]

  13. Teachers – y’ll show you a thing or two!

    Current score: 0

    Candy [06/01/2003]

Do you know a profession you shouldn't try to pick up?