Australian Prime Minister, Mr. John Howard, this week suggested that unemployed people be made to work in return for unemployment benefits.
“These people do nothing all day,” he told journalists. “They sit around, smoking bongs and eating Tim Tams. Asking them to do some pointless, dead-end task, like welcoming tourists at the airport, will give them valuable skills in the welcoming-people-at-the-airport industry.”
The scheme is seen as a test for the government. As one of the sillier concepts suggested, its passage through Parliament will encourage further ‘work for benefits’ schemes.
“I’d like to see people put in before they take out,” said Mr. Howard. “For example, a large number of sick people claim sickness benefits. I propose to institute a ‘get well soon’ benefit, where the benefit runs out after 3 days, to encourage people to get well soon.
“People with disabilities qualify for disability pensions. They don’t do anything in return. I’d like to see a scheme more like India, where disabled people have to put in 10 hours of solid begging to get some money.”
The Leader of the Opposition, Mr. Beazley, said the Opposition was opposed to the scheme.
“The Opposition is opposed to the scheme,” he said.
At the Camberwell DSS, reaction was mixed.
“Work for the dole? I think I’d rather work for the DSS. You look at them, none of them seems to be awake,” said Nigel.
“I already have to do too much for the dole, I reckon”, said Kate, “I had to get out of bed to come here, you know.”
“Oh, great! I can finally work in the welcoming-people-at-the-airport industry! I just hope my Tourism degree will come in handy,” said Ian.
Howard Wants Work For Dole
