Liam Cody and Chris Tomkins star in Planet of the Popes.
After the box office success of Planet of the Apes, director Tim Burton needs script ideas for a sequel.
We’ve decided to help him out.
This month, we have assembled the finest script ideas we could think of while walking out of the cinema. Here they are.
- Planet of the Grapes – An astronaut lands on a planet populated by intelligent grapes, and discovers the only place in the universe where drinking a glass of wine means a sentence of death by over-watering.
- Planet of the Japes – Where every night is comedy night. (Likely to be the title of Lesley Neilsen’s parody version).
- Planet of the Snails – An astronaut lands on a planet populated by highly-evovled snails. The snails try to enslave him, but he simply walks away.
- Planet of the Tapes – An astronaut lands on a planet in the midst of the “Digital/Analogue Conversion Wars”.
- Planet of the Crepes – A planet populated by intelligent crepes. Stars newcomer Suzette Maplesyrup.
- Planet of the Dolphins – An astronaut lands on a planet ruled by highly-evolved dolphins, and drowns.
- Planet of the Capes – Where being a superhero isn’t normal, it’s expected.
- Planet of the Humans – A documentary.
- Planet of the Slugs – Just like Planet of the Snails but without the expensive armour costumes. Rated R.
- Planet of the Three-toed Sloths – An astronaut lands on a planet ruled by highly evolvled lazy three-toed sloths who sleep for up to 19 hours a day. Not much action, but great dream sequences.
- Planet of the Popes – A planet where there is no evolution or sex before marriage, but plenty of choir boys.
- Planet of the Drapes – Potentially Tim Burton’s darkest movie yet.
Planet of the Wakes kinda like 4 WEDDINGS & A FUNERAL except all the action happens at the celebration party after the burial.
Planet of the Greats about the heaven planet filled with dead greats like scientists and historically influential political leaders. And the controversy and rage that sparks when Don Bradman shows up.
Planet of the Porns an astronaught lands on a planet littered with evolved XXX rated movies…. that is the music is actually pretty good in them.
Planet of the Rakes about a planet filled with highly evolved Supermodels
Planet of the Lakes corker of a movie! Anyway, Kevin Costner has evolved into this fish type amphibian – and the whole world is like a massive lake – and then, there are these pirates – and then, there is this single mum and her little girl – and then, there’s this war you see…..actually, nah, the movie pretty much sucks.
Planet of the Lates all these female gorillas think they’re pregnant.
Planet of the Mates nothing much happens really. Everyone’s very friendly and they get along fine.
Planet of the Apes an astronaut’s son lands on a planet populated by apes who haven’t really evolved into anything yet……oh sequel, forgive me, I thought this was prequel. Sorry.
Planet of the Gapes An Astronaut lands on a planet where everybody just stares at him with open mouths, until he feels really uncomfortably, and decides to go home.
Zy
Planet of the Consultants Astronaut lands on a planet where everyone is a Consultant or Engineer, and they sit around in meetings all day, and nothing gets done.
Planet of the Napes where everyone necks and not much else gets done.
TJ Bullard
Planet of the AC/DC’s An astronort lands on a planet ruled by loud singing power-points with mullets.
Planet of the Planets a planet inhabited by small man-sized planets, who each in turn are inhabited by planets, and the astronaut can’t make up his mind which planet to land on and dies of severe confusion!
Planet of the Really Stupid People An alternate version of Earth where not only is George W. Bush in charge, but the people actually voted for him!
Planet of the Billy Rays A story about a planet totally inhabited by country singers known as Billy Ray. The twist is all the Billy’s are having a bad hair day!!! (which we know on Earth would never happen.)
Planet of the Ants III An astronaut lands on a planet with unbelievable friendly and intelligent Ants. He steps out of his Spaceship and destroys the whole colony with one footstep. The Movie ends after the first 3 Minutes.
Planet of the Mates A planet inhabited by people for whom the word ‘mate’ makes up their entire language, with subtle variations in its pronounciation completely altering its meaning. Not unlike a visit to a bar in the outer suburbs of Melbourne where the word ‘mate’ can mean anything from ‘Leave before I kill you’, or ‘I like you, lets have a drink’.
Band-aid of the Apes In order to raise some money for charity,Bob Geldof crash lands on an ape planet. None of the apes notice.
brian vo
Janet of the Apes Rocky Horror meets sci-fi as monkeys strut around in fishnets and corsets. Not for everyone.
Sonnet of the Apes All the characters speak in a dialog of minimum 14 lines. Hero talks in different rhyme scheme. The Apes don’t rhyme, but they have better rythmn.
Planet of The Bates On returning to earth the Astronaut opens up a seedy motel along the interstate with his mother….
Planet of The Out Takes An astronaut lands on a bewildering planet whose inhabitants are addicted to Blooper TV shows presented by Dado’s
Planet Of The BrownNosers Astronaut lands in unescapable corporate trap surrounded by brown nosing wannabe management twats. Eventually either commits suicide or goes postal due to the frustration of it all.
Planet of the Rings Astronaut lands on a planet ruled by Apes… He finds the One Ring which makes him invisible. Because none of the Apes can ever see him he passes into obscurity and eventually dies laeving the Apes in control.
J. Roberts
Punnet of the Grapes Lonely green grocer falls in love with a customer only to discover she is already married. His clumsy attempts to win her affections lose him his job.
Planet of the Monkeys Basically like Planet of the Apes, but smaller apes.
Planet of the Charlton Hestons In the future, an advance race of apes crash on a planet full of Charlton Hestons, all yelling, "You blew it up!", "Take your stinkin paws off me!" and "Damn you! Damn to all to hell!". Here’s the weird part. It was Earth!
Planet of the Crates a film revolving around the complexities of an interstellar removals co.Excellent sub plot…what did happen to crate 8 of 13????
Planet of the 8’s Astronaut lands on a planet ruled by 8’s. He leads an uprising by 9’s, but in the end his mobile phone stops working.
Planet of the Males the apes look human, but have less intelligence than the average, run-of-the-mill ape.